Worst Jokes Ever
What is Helen Keller's favorite color?
Velcro.
Uh, uh, fuck me, daddy!
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Nobody likes that joke.
"Hippity hoppity, the school shooter spotted me."
Why were the victims of 9/11 so mad?
Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was a plane.
How do you know if an Asian has been in your house?
Your dog's gone.
Your finances are done.
And your floaties.
What do you call James, James?
Lung story short... ahqhahahah!
Blood is red.
Bruises are blue. I forget the rest... um, I hate you...?
When someone falls, you say to them, "I remember when I started to learn to walk."
My brother puts his butt in his face and says, "Kyle, you're cracking me up!"
What do blondes and beer bottles have in common? They are both empty from the neck up.
Q) What do trees call deforestation?
A) TREASON!
What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
Depresso!!! LOL XD XD XD
Do you like tree jokes? Because they leaf me in tears!
Do you like tree jokes? Because they leaf me in tears! :3
A duck walks into a bar and says, "Got any bread?"
The bartender says, "No bread here."
And then the duck says, "Got any bread?"
And the bartender says, "Didn't I just f***ing say that there was no bread here?"
And the duck says, "Got any bread?!"
And the bartender says, "You stupid duck! Or should I say d***? There's no bread here. Don't make me say that again, or I'll pin you to the wall with a nail."
So the duck says, "Got any nails?"
And then the bartender looks surprised, and says, "Of course I've got f***ing nails. Can't you see them?"
And the duck says, "Got any bread?"
And the bartender throws the duck out of the bar.
What do you get when you mix up a group of emos?
Suicide squad.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Hair.
Hair who?
Hairhairhairhairhairhair!
Hey, wanna hear a joke?
Yeah, me too.