Worst Jokes Ever
My life #freemymanrkelly
Hi, I'm stupid!
Knock knock. Who's there? Jo. Jo who? Jo Auntie.
If you're ever bored, pee on an android. Apple is better!
Son - Dad, I've been expelled from school for having sex with a girl in my class.
Dad - Son, that's the 2nd school this year! Maybe teaching isn't for you!
A guy bought an AMG and crashed it. Now he knows how the Mercedes bends.
Why are cheetahs the best animals?
The cheetah is the fastest land animal in the world. They can reach a top speed of around 113 km per hour.
A cheetah can accelerate from 0 to 113 km in just a few seconds.
Cheetahs are extremely fast; however, they tire quickly and can only keep up their top speed for a few minutes before they are too tired to continue.
Cheetahs are smaller than other members of the big cat family, weighing only 45 – 60 kilograms.
One way to always recognize a cheetah is by the long, black lines which run from the inside of each eye to the mouth. These are usually called “tear lines,” and scientists believe they help protect the cheetah’s eyes from the harsh sun and help them to see long distances.
Cheetahs are the only big cat that cannot roar. They can purr though and usually purr most loudly when they are grooming or sitting near other cheetahs.
While lions and leopards usually do their hunting at night, cheetahs hunt for food during the day.
A cheetah has amazing eyesight during the day and can spot prey from 5 km away.
Cheetahs cannot climb trees and have poor night vision.
With their light body weight and blunt claws, cheetahs are not well designed to protect themselves or their prey. When a larger or more aggressive animal approaches a cheetah in the wild, it will give up its catch to avoid a fight.
Cheetahs only need to drink once every three to four days.
Riley Styler :)
Person: You suck!
Me: Tell that to your mom, and she’ll say the same thing, honey. 😎
The word "ginger" is just the n-word reorganized.
What do you sing on a dead person's birthday?
"Happy Death-Day To You!"
There was a dude, he was like, "Yo dawg, you wanna die?" I said, "What is this, Friday the 13th?"
Your mom is so stupid, she thought eating ass was cannibalism.
Why was the beach salty? Because the land didn't wave back. The ocean then called the land a beach.
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it.
What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present?
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?
A cat has claws at the end of paws; a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.
What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?
A receding hare-line!
A woman in labor suddenly shouted, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! Didn't! Can't!"
"Don't worry," said the doc. "Those are just contractions."
Did you hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There's no menu. You get what you deserve!