Worst Jokes Ever
What did the robber say to the clock?
Hands up!
What do you call a crying dick?
I call it a crying dick.
What a skeleton baked for the other skeleton.
A pa_pıe_rus.
There was a doctor's room filled with 20 women, 4 kids, 15 men, and 1 dog. However, there were forty foreheads. How is this possible?
(They will think 44 heads, not 40 foreheads.)
Because there are 40 foreheads, not 44 heads.
What does an apple and a lawyer have in common?
They both look good hanging from a tree.
iran
#takemebacksophie
The priest wanted the little boy to touch his cross. The boy said, "It's hard." Then it shot out holy water, and the priest said, "Come again and taste the second cumming of Jesus, lmao."
I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
What did the boy goat say to his girlfriend?
You're my boo!
What do you call a dog that is part pug, part poodle, and part cup?
A muggle! 🤠🤠🤠🤠🥴
Prankster kid: Knock knock.
Neighbor: Who's there?
...
So, three guys are walking carefully into a bar.
The bartender said, "What can I get you, gentlemen?"
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because he forgot to plug in the charger.
Kate ate food coloring last night. She said she was dying inside.
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
He's homeless.
Another: Oh he must be A "Sheer" (as in Andrew Scheer) survivor...
The other: No, he's a Liberal (as in Justin Trudeau) job hopeful.
Why can’t the T-Rex clap his hands?
Because he is DEAD.
A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?"
The little boy says, "That’s my little red race car."
Ten minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?"
The little girl says, "That’s my little red race car garage."
So later that night, the little boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She said yes, and then they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won’t fit.
Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs up the stairs, flips on the lights and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?"
The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit, so I cut the back wheels off."