Worst Jokes Ever
Yesterday I made food using oil--olive oil.
(I love oil!)
Stephen Hawking died because he tried downloading a free version of Windows 10.
What the difference between cats and dogs? They dont have one both taste good
Son: Mom, is it possible to make a strawberry cake for me?
Mom: No, that's impossible.
Son: But it is possible for your secret boyfriend, right?
Mom: No, no, please don't tell your dad. I will make a strawberry cake for you.
Son: Daddy has already tasted your sweet strawberry cake, so because of that, I felt jealous ^_^
What's the difference between a priest and a zit?
A: One waits until you're twelve to cum on your face.
What do you call five black people having sex? A threesome.
What did the skeleton say to the other skeleton? "You're dead to me."
"Orla Doyle is fit."
Two husbands walk into a bar.
The first one says, "My wife is an angel."
The second one says, "You're lucky, mine is still alive."
One day there was a boy who needed the toilet, so he goes to his teacher and asks if he can go to the toilet. The teacher says "yes, but before you go, what are the first 3 letters in the alphabet?" The boy replies, "I don't know, miss..." The teacher says that he will have to wait.
Later, the boy goes home to his mom who is on the phone. He asks, "What is the first letter in the alphabet?" His mom says, "Oh, shut up!" So the boy goes to his dad who is playing darts and says, "What is the second letter in the alphabet?" His dad says "180!" So the boy goes to his sister who is playing with her Barbies. The boy asks, "What is the 3rd letter in the alphabet?" The sister says, "I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world!"
The next day, the boy goes to school and needs the toilet again, so he goes to ask if he can go, and the teacher says, "Yes, but before you go, what are the 3 letters in the alphabet?" The boy says, "Oh, shut up!" The teacher is angry about that, so she says, "What is the second one?" "180!" says the boy, and the teacher asks him where he is from, and the boy says, "I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world!"
The end.
What do bananas wear into battle?
Banana-rama!
What did the angler say to his students at the end of his fishing class?
Catch you later!
What do you call a duck with no head?
Your mom gay.
How do you punch 40 kids in the face at once? Hit them with a “Sandy Hook”.
Sub to Pwediepie!
My grandpa asked me to pass him his phone, but I passed him a calculator. He couldn't tell the difference.
Five little monkeys jumping on the bed.
One fell off and bumped his head.
The momma called the doctor and the doctor said,
"Why the heck were my children jumping on a bed?"
"Knife to meet you all!"
Stephen's not dead; his WiFi is slow.
An assassin threatens a planet.
The planet remains calm.
The assassin: "Do you not realize the gravity of this situation?"