Worst Jokes Ever
How do poets say hello?
Hey, haven’t we metaphor?
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked at me surprised.
(P.S. I am not at that age plus I am as straight as a helix ruler.)
I don't like 9/11 jokes because they always talk about how bad of a plane driver my dad is.
What was the guy with no arms, legs, or a head name?
Matt.
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg, and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants."
The pirate says, "Arrrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts."
What is Helen Keller's favorite color?
Velcro.
Where do fish sleep?
On a seabed!
If I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn because they are Beautiful, Majestic, Sparkly, Bright, Gods. They create Joy and Happiness everywhere they go.
Unicorns made my life better when I got to know them more. ^-^ They filled my life with more Happiness. I believe in the Unicorns, and they'll believe in me. I am not a Unicorn, although I am the Princess of the Unicorn Land, but if I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn! :P
What do you call a fish without an eye?
Fsh!
How do you confuse a fish?
Put it in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner!
Ice cream is just like I scream.
What Happens When You Get Caught On Fire?
— You Lost To Slmebody When You Were Playing Hide And Seek, And The Place Where You Got Caught Was Exactly On A Patch Of Fire.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To prove he wasn't a chicken.
Q: Where did Sally go on her bike? A: Nowhere.
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How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.
What are all grandmas infected with? Defiantly not a parasite!
Why do golfers always bring a spare pair of pants?
Because they always get a hole in one!
Knock knock. Who's there? Ach. Ach who? Bless you!
If you're ever bored, adopt an orphan. What is he going to do, be kissed by Vedanta?