Worst Jokes Ever
Him: What's the difference between Incestry.com and Ancestry.com?
Her: What?
Him: Nothing, either way you will be dating your cousin.
Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
A: New Yorkers. Some of them go through 110 stories in 5 seconds.
If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
haha why couldn't the bike stand up because it was too tired.
A guy tells his pal, "My wife is expecting. We're going to the clinic to see if it's a girl or a boy."
"Congrats, man. What are you gonna name it if it's a boy?"
"We're going with Trevor."
"Ok, what if it's a girl?"
"Then we'll have an abortion."
Once a blonde, always a blonde. 😂
What is the slipperiest county?
Greece!
What is yellow but can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
I love working with animals, especially when I get to hear their cries of help.
What do you call a midget that waves? A microwave.
How did pioneers name Canada?
They put a bunch of letters in a hat and pulled out three. The first one was "C, eh?" The second one was "N, eh?" The last letter was "D, eh?"
That's how they named "C, eh? N, eh? D, eh?"
What do you get when you eat a hamburger?
Mustard gas.
Most people say I'm a clown. Yet they don't laugh at my jokes. Most people avoid me because I'm a "clown". Yet I'm not the center of the circus. But I know I'm gonna be a clown forever. Because I can't take this damn mask off, no matter how hard I try.
Weeks later: Finally I found out why I'm being called a clown...because my smiling face is fake...
I am the joke.
My mom told me that she and the owner of a Chinese restaurant made a deal. Now we get free Chinese food. So I ask my mom why do we get free Chinese food? Then my mom said, "I love him long time."
What's a convict's favorite song?
"I want to break free."
"Suck my sugar, honey, it's very sweet and juicy."
Why did they make bus stops? So the bus driver would know where to pick the orphan up.
What's worse than five dead babies in one garbage can?
- One dead baby in five garbage cans.
My doctor said, "You have 1 year to live."
I said, "You wanna bet?"
Bam, a gunshot!