Worst Jokes Ever

What did the pirate say to Argon?

Ar!

We were discussing cows in a lesson. I asked my teacher why she was one.

What does a deaf person do when they hear people scream? I don't know; it's not like they're gonna hear it anyway.

what do you call a shadow stalker REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

What time is it? It's time for lunch.

*Quoted by Bubble Guppies*

Why did the chicken cross the road?

'Cause it was stapled to the chicken.

My wife said I acted like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.

Yo, forehead is so big...the photo on yo driver's license says "to be continued on the back."

What did the skeleton say when he fell on his funny bone? He laughed!

"Knock knock!"

"Who's there?"

"Baby!"

"Baby who?"

"Do you want to eat this baby that I have prepared?"

"No thanks, I already ate."

Your mom gay.

I made a website for orphans, but it didn't have a home page.

Girlfriend: I just lost 5 pounds!

Me: How many makeup wipes did you need?

An alien walks into a bar. There is a guy sitting next to him, and the alien touches his shoulder.

The man says, "Do that one more time and I'll run you over." The alien does it again and gets ran over. They get back in the bar and he touches him again. The man says, "Do that again and I'll chop your dick off." He touches him again. The man pulls the alien's pants down and pulls out his knife. He was astonished at what he found. There was nothing there! He looks up at the alien and looks at his finger and fainted.

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

How did Stephen Hawking die?

His computer got a virus.

Dad: How was your trip to the park?

Daughter: It was good until the man came along.

Dad: *gasps* Whatever happened, it wasn't your fault, but tell Daddy, what happened?

Daughter: He made my friends go away so it was just me and him... then he took my dress off...

Dad: Oh God, what next?

Daughter: Nothing, that was it.

Dad: Oh, come on! That wasn't exciting, make something up!

Q. What's the difference between people and a toilet?

A. Neither does R. Kelly.

What's the best part of a vegetable? The wheelchair.

Whenever I’m bored, I hit up my local orphanage and beat some of them up.

I mean honestly, what are they going to do, tell their parents? 😂😂