Worst Jokes Ever
Did you hear about the dyslexic wanna-be bank robber? He walked in and yelled, "HANDS UP, THIS IS A MOTHER STICKING F##K UP!" The lucky idiot got away because nobody could stop laughing!
Where did Sally go when the explosion happened?
Everywhere!
Yeeeeeeeet!
Uranus is up in the sky today.
Q: What did the little girl say to her leper daddy?
A: "Oops, I got your nose!"
A child asks his father, "How do you get pink eye?"
Son, I was told it’s from scratching your butt, then rubbing your eyes.
Then the son asks, "How did I get Fungi?" As the father was about to answer, the boy says, "Ohh, so is it from scratching my stinky feet, then rubbing my eye?" ———-Fungeye
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Nobody finds that one funny.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
Because the P is silent.
Why did the farmer name his pig Ink?
Because he kept on running out of the pen.
I wake up in the morning and I suck my teeth.
An orphan walks into a supermarket, gets lost and calls for his mum, then remembers.
Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
Because he got hit by a bus!
I want a job cleaning mirrors. I could really see myself doing it!
I have no legs.
A polar bear walks into a bar, asks the barman, “A pint of lager................. and a packet of crisps.”
The barman asks, “Why the large pause?”
DEEZ NUTS
GOTTEM!
Knock knock? Who's there? Kanga. Kanga who? Not kangawho, kangaroo!
Why did the skeleton eat tacos?
Because he was hungry.
Why was Goofy in the bathroom?
He was goofing off!
Q: What is the hardest part of a vegetable to swallow?
A: A wheelchair.