Worst Jokes Ever

...... fuck the turtles...... THE END

Hello, America!

What was Stephen Hawking's mother's name?

Ilean.

What do you call a mug? A mug dummy.

What is green?

Grass, you tard!

Blonde: Can I suck you off? (has STDs on mouth)

Me: Naw (drake turn/dab)

So, a blind man got run over by a car... a parked car.

Uranus is blue from lack of service.

My dad and I were playing hide and seek. I still haven’t found him. It’s been 15 years.

What's a pirate's favorite key on the keyboard?

Others: R.

Rrrr, you would think so, but it be the C.

*insert pun here*

What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and my Dad?

Isaac Newton didn’t beat me half to death with a pipe wrench.

When I go to weddings, old people will tell me I'm next, but when I go to funerals, I tell old people they're next.

I took a pole today. 100% of the people in the tent were unhappy that it collapsed.

Are you fin-ished with your work?

Roses are red, Velvet is blue, So are violets.

What separates snowmen from snow-women?

Snow balls.

Ah, what's that on your face? Oh, I forgot, that is your ass. It's so ugly, you stupid-looking bitch!

Does anybody know the similarities between a Rubik's cube and a penis?

I don't know the whole answer, but I do know that the more you play with it, the harder it gets.

What did the author say when he got a correct answer? "I got it right!"