Worst Jokes Ever
Yo mama so fat, she the iceberg.
Me: *gives her 5 dollars* Climb that flag pole. Cute female: *takes the money and goes up the flag pole* Is this good? Me: Hell yeah, that's a nice view.
*Next day* Here's 10 dollars if you do it again. *She goes up there* Me: How's the view? *She goes home and her mom sees the money* Her mom: Where you getting this money? Her daughter: I climbed a flagpole. Her mom: You know he just wants you to see your panties, right? *She goes back and does it again but doesn't wear panties* Me: Holy shit ;-; Her mom: Did you do it again? Her daughter: Don't worry, Mom, he didn't get to see my panties. Her mom:...
In the words of Kerk Cobane: "Check this sweet no scope!"
"Where ya going?"
"When I die, hell, but right now, my room."
People: Stop joking about such serious issues!
Me: Kill yourself.
Trust your calculator. It's something to count on.
I was in the car, and I got out and saw a deer walking sexy, and I'm like, "What the..."
If you ever get bored, just punch an orphan in the face. What's he going to do? Tell his parents?
What do you call a weak, beta, tall and dumb kid? A banana.
But if you're vegan, you call him food.
If you're poor, you eat the skin.
Your life is the best joke ever.
Stephen Hawking's not dead, he is just in airplane mode.
What’s a bird’s favorite movie?
The Parrots of the Caribbean.
Here in IHOP, we serve pancakes, not pie cakes. If so, we can always bring in a chart that will power the customer. His smile will remain at its current form, and police surely resisted when I said the word "surely."
Two pencils walking down the street.
Which one hasn’t got AIDS?
The one with the rubber on.
I was working at the bank today when an old lady came up to me and asked me to check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on pot?
Pot wheels.
A, B, C, D, E, F, G, I will kill your family.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
I don’t know.
To get to the idiot house.
Knock, knock. Who's there?
The chicken.
Jackie gives better head than Marilyn.
I followed the sun for a day (stood there at noon). I found myself at the same spot.