Worst Jokes Ever
Where does a crayon go on vacation? To color-ado.
Bird on the beach: seagull.
Bird by the bay: bagel.
Bird down south Philly Walmart parking lot: illegal.
Octopussy.
There is no joke.
Grandma, I can’t believe I have Alzheimer’s.
One second later, Well at least I don’t have Alzheimer’s.
What's the difference between a humorous bully and a small van driver?
One takes the Mickey, the other takes the Minnie.
When your friend asks why you don't smile, then you look at them and realize no one is there because you have no friends. #my life
Why did the one-armed man cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop.
My wife and I have been married over 30 years, but don’t get me wrong, we still perform tricks in the bedroom.
I sit up and beg, she rolls over and plays dead.
Two skeletons meet at the graveyard at noon.
"What the heck are you doing here?"
"I couldn't sleep."
Your mom dot com.
What did scientists prove when they saw a skeleton on the moon?
The cow didn’t make it.
What do you call a man off the ground?
Hanged.
Welcome to codi's pizzeria and abortion clinic; your loss is our sauce!
What happens when you mess with a farmer? You get the whole ranch.
What does the Bible stand for?
Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth.
A dyslexic walks into a bra.
Knock knock. Who's there? Oswald. Oswald who? Oswald my Halloween candy and now it's stuck in my throat!
There was once a boy who took a selfie, and the next day became an orphan.
I can't see the bee.
It's by the beehive.