Worst Jokes Ever
My brother told me he wanted to find a golden apple tree in real life. I told him it was a fruitless mission.
What is small, red, and sitting in the corner?
A baby playing with a scalpel.
Me: "Hey, you trashy pig woman, go in the toilet or lay on the grass where you belong."
Trashy pig woman: "Why?"
Because you smell like fart, and you're pretty much just a turd with lips.
What's dumb?
The Fetus Deletus joke!
Fucking hate that joke....
Did you know Stephen Hawking died in a game? The game was Happy Wheels.
Hey Max, what's up? The sky.
Why did the two balls cross the road?
To get to the penis!
Sorry, too rude?
When your friend moves to Texas and she comes back a cowgirl.
YEEEHAWW!
Who's climbing the tree?..... Not Sarah.
Who is in hospital?.... Sarah.
My question is, how do fat people fit in tuxedos? Honestly, don’t wear those. Wear your regular clothes. Your belly is just gonna pop out!
People are like trees...
If you hit them with an ax multiple times, they'll fall over.
What is a cup called when they show a ton of emotions?
Answer: Expresso! (KILL MEH)
Two girls have a sleepover.
Karen: Let's go to bed.
Lauren: Fine, but it's early.
*Karen wakes up and exits room*
*Lauren hears noise*
Mikey: You're so much better than my girlfriend, Karen.
Lauren: *laughs*
Lauren: *remembers her boyfriend is Karen's brother, Mikey*
What did the daddy bullet say to his son when he missed the bull and hit something brown and gross?
"That is bull crap!"
What did the father bullet say to the baby bullet when he killed a bull by hitting it in the eye: "Bull's eye!"
What do you call a pig in a farm?
- A pig in a farm.
Why did the car fall asleep?
Because he was too tired.
How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
Pick it up and suck it off...
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the "p" is silent.
Your grandma is pretty old; she'll die soon.