Worst Jokes Ever
My penis is tied in a knot.
How do you get a baby into a small bowl?
A blender.
How do you get it out? Tostito chips.
A kid named Billy gets his lunch money stolen at school. The bully later gets his allowance, the lunch money, and his wallet taken by his father.
The father then gets all the money taken from him by the bully’s grandfather along with his own wallet. The grandfather then takes the money and gets it stolen by Billy along with his own wallet.
What did the shoe say to the other shoe?
Nothing, it was tied up in another conversation.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and acne?
Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.
When I was walking home, a couple of married guys were saying, "Your mom is good at her job," but I realized my mom doesn't work.
So I ask my mom, "Why are these guys saying you're good at your job? You don't work." My mom said, "Yeah, I got a new job." So I said, "What do you do?" My mom said, "Job hand, no, I mean it's called a hand job."
How do you make a hormone?
Don't pay her.
Homie: Let's meet.
Skrr: It's 🔥🌭
Meaning: It's hot [🔥] dawg [🌭]!
I went for my routine check up last week, and everything was going great until the doctor stuck her finger up my butt. Should I look for a new dentist?
What do you call a cup with a handle?
A mug! HAHA ha... My parents just got a divorce :(
Son: Dad, am I adopted?
Father: What? No! Out of all the kids in the adoption center, do you really think I would pick you?
MOM: Honey, I'm pregnant.
DAD: Hi, Pregnant, I'm Dad.
MOM: No, you're not.
Did you hear about the man who swallowed his watch?
He went to the doctor hoping he could give him something to help pass the time.
How to get 1000 followers on Instagram?
Run through Africa with a bottle of water.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a carrier bag? One is plastic and dangerous for kids to play with, and the other is a carrier bag.
"Fucking cracker and you smell like fish!"
What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.
At school, Bobby's classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, Bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with "Why are you crying?" Bobby says, "Someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die?" His mom looks him straight in the eye and says, "Depends, which one are you referring to?"
It's hard to predict the future,
especially before it happens.
What's worse than 1 tree with 10,000 dead babies on it?
1 baby on 10,000 trees.