Worst Jokes Ever
What is Beethoven's favorite vegetable?
Beets.
Do you know Candice?
Candice dick fit in your mouth!
What kind of fish knows math?
An anglerfish LOL
Three women—a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead—are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two hours later, their vehicle dies with no gas, and they're forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them.
The brunette brings canteens of water.
The redhead takes a large beach umbrella.
The blonde somehow rips off the car door.
The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?"
To which the blonde replied, "So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot."
Why didn’t the Japanese guy get a high five? Cause Logan Paul left him hanging...
I have been reading this book about zero gravity. I can’t seem to put it down.
How does Moses make his cup of tea?
He brews it.
What is a cat's favorite Queen song... Don't stop meow.
If you ever get mad at an orphan, punch them in the face... What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Do you wanna know why orphans don’t play baseball?
They don’t know what home is.
I said to my pregnant wife, "Push, darling, come on, push harder, dear!" No, she wasn't giving birth; the bloody car would not start.
If a kid does not go to sleep during nap time, isn't he resisting a rest?
Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
Because he had no body to go with!
What did the math book say to the other math book?
Wanna hear my problems?
A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "What, no soap?" Then he dies and she marries the barber.
I keep getting ads about belly fat.
If you ever get bored, just punch an orphan. I mean, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What has a kid with cancer and Peter Pan in common?
They will never grow up.
I was born on the moon.
Yeah, my mom was high, and my dad was down to earth.
My live.