Worst Jokes Ever
One day, there was an ugly barnacle. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end!
How do you know if an Asian has broken into your house?
Your dog is gone. ;)
Yan nan ate my salty penis.
What did the kid say to the toilet?
"Did you order a number two because I got one ready for you?"
Cancer?
Cancer
There was a woman named Sally. She loved to have sex with other people. One time, she had sex with me. I noticed her bra size was 69 (+69). That is fucking big!
Ok, then when her partner was pissing, he told her she should call the doctor. So she dialed 2063512000 (+2000) and called the doctor. The office was on 51st street ave NE (+51). Holy shit, the doctor said! The boots were so big that she had to take 8 pills (x 8). The next morning, she was ________.
69 + 51 + 2000 x 8 = 16120
58008 (flip calculator)
Boobless.
So I ran into my specialist doctor, and he said, "Pick a star sign, any star sign." So I said, "Capricorn," and he said, "Nah, you got cancer."
Sub to KYMBO or you are gay.
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello on the other side.
Did you hear about the dyslexic wanna-be bank robber? He walked in and yelled, "HANDS UP, THIS IS A MOTHER STICKING F##K UP!" The lucky idiot got away because nobody could stop laughing!
Where did Sally go when the explosion happened?
Everywhere!
Yeeeeeeeet!
Uranus is up in the sky today.
Q: What did the little girl say to her leper daddy?
A: "Oops, I got your nose!"
A child asks his father, "How do you get pink eye?"
Son, I was told it’s from scratching your butt, then rubbing your eyes.
Then the son asks, "How did I get Fungi?" As the father was about to answer, the boy says, "Ohh, so is it from scratching my stinky feet, then rubbing my eye?" ———-Fungeye
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Nobody finds that one funny.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
Because the P is silent.
Why did the farmer name his pig Ink?
Because he kept on running out of the pen.
I wake up in the morning and I suck my teeth.
An orphan walks into a supermarket, gets lost and calls for his mum, then remembers.