Worst Jokes Ever
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What runs but does not walk? It's water.
She said no, so I raped her.
Going in a military.
The last thing I heard from them is: "Goodbye!"
I won't ever forget my dad's last words: "OH GOD THE POLICE!!!"
Boy: Can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: If you sing the ABCs.
Boy: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNORSTUVWXYZ!
Teacher: Where’s the P?
Boy: In my pants! Lol. That’s all mates! Have a good day! (Or night)
Jack and his kids went to the lake, and his mother wants him to go swimming. You know what he says? "Back where you came from!"
I talked to your doctor. He said you wasn’t going to make it because your stretch marks look like pieces of bacon.
If you boil a funny bone, it becomes a laughing stock. That's humerus.
What do you call a midget psychic that has escaped from prison?
A small medium at large.
What do you call a guy with a big dick that likes to eat fish?
Long John Silvers or Captain D's.
What did the cake say to the fork?
"Do you want a piece of me!!!"
I heard my neighbors having sex, and it was annoying me, so I called my girlfriend to ask if she wanted to go out, but when I called her, I heard my neighbors' phone ringing.
What instrument can a skeleton never play?
An organ.
What did the man say when his girlfriend threw sodium and chloride at him?
That’s assault!
What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?
The trom-BONE!
P.S. This joke is very non-original and bad.
A blind man walks into a bar and starts to swing his guide dog around his head. The bartender asks him nervously, "Are you okay?" The blind man replies, "Yeah, I’m just looking around!"
Knock knock?
Who's there?
Willis.
Willis who?
Willis dick fit in yo mouth?!
What did the first rape victim say to the second rape victim?
"You are a consequence of rape!"
Why do tables never need wheelchairs?
Because even without the ‘t’ they are still able.