Worst Jokes Ever

What's the difference between an aborted fetus and an upside-down bar stool?

An upside-down bar stool can only pleasure 4 men.

Nobody:

Me: "Nobody:" "Me:"

Stephen Hawking got an engine swap with a Nissan 350Z, and they said his wheelchair wasn't street legal :/

What is the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a Harley Davidson?

The location of the Dirtbag.

I made someone a PB and J sandwich... they died.

Why do orphans go to church?

So they have someone to call father.

I remember Grandpa's last words, "Oh, shit! It's in drive!"

Tibia honest, it takes a lot of spine to memorize all the bones in the skeletal system. I mean, there's a skele-ton of em! You gotta be boned up for the skeletal system exam, buddy chum pal. Now that was a humerus ribtickling skelepun. Besides, if ya don't know all of the bones in the skeletal system, get boned, fucking numbskull. Did those tickle your funny bone? Now I've been working down to the bone typing these puns, kid. Now if you hate all these, I won't be bothered, I got thick skin! But first, lemme take a skelfie in the skelevator playing my trom-bone. Now, I gotta go to Grillby's. They got a discount on spare-ribs. Bone-voyage, my homeslice breadslice dawg.

Some of you people on here are complete incels and need to learn how to spell and properly construct simplistic grammatical sentences that actually make sense.

So, a neutron went to a bar. He asked the bartender how much for a beer. The bartender said, "For you, no charge."

One day a truck driver had a truck full of squirrels. A police officer said, "Sir, I'm going to need you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver did so and left. The next day the driver was back, but this time the squirrels were wearing sunglasses. The officer said, "I thought I told you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver said, "I did. Today I'm taking them to the beach."

This whole page is pure trash. Fuck all of you.

What do you call a brave octopus? Octobrave.

Ha! It asked me to submit a joke, but then I realized I'm the joke.

Why did the ox get kicked out of the herd?

Because it wasn't being an ox, it was being a butt-ox...!

Your momma's so fat, a whale said, "Hello, Mom!"

I just stepped on a corn flake. I'm officially a cereal killer.

Johnny had 55 pineapples. He threw three at his friend. How many does he have now?

None, because he was pistol whipped then shot at point blank range with a sawed off shotgun covered in fluoroantimonic acid which burned a hole in his skull causing his brain to melt and rupture nerve cells all over his friends. Then his arms and legs were stuffed into a wheat thresher which was used to harvest the meat of the enslaved children. Then his corpse was molested.

There was one girl. She met 5000 guys. She had sex with each of them seven times. She became... - flip screen (=).

Why did the orphans like church so much?

So they had someone to call father...