Worst Jokes Ever

What's the difference between America and a flash drive?

One is USA, the other is USB. 😂😂😂

Money means nothing to me. Ask me for it, you will get nothing.

Me: Have you seen the movie Constipation?

You: No.

Me: Because it hasn’t come out yet! ERMINER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What's the difference between a boy and girl? A boy always carries an average 5in "do not enter" sign.

I live in a world made of cheese. Someone stubbed their toe and screamed, "Cheese-its, Christ!"

Kid's uncle: "Your mum said you can have your friends round tonight! But I'm gonna have to baby sit today."

Kid: "OK THANK YOU."

(AT BED TIME)

Kid: "Please may you stop touching my leg BEN!"

Ben: "I'm not."

(Turns light on) Kid: "UNCLEEEEE STOP SPILLING MILK OVER ME!!!"

Q: Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to the countryside?

A: There’s no signal.

Why did the baseball player go to jail?

Because he stole first base.

The only reason Stephen Hawking died was because he saw the end.

Why are people joking about this stuff?

"Hay, can you help me to her on..." No, that is gross. I meant my car.

Yesnt.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Heehheehehehehehehe

To get to the other side. Ahaahahahahahahahahahahaa!

I was at a milk store and ordered some milk.

They brought it over but spilled it on me.

I said that was a udder failure!

Paki curry is shit.

Your dad must be a mailman.

rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Yesterday, I saw an advert with a random woman dancing, and someone said that they were beautiful.

And then I said, "Except the fat people." And then I got sent to my room for saying that.

Why do brides wear white?

So they match the kitchen appliances.

A man gets arrested after writing "MORBID JOKES COMING OUT THIS TIME NEXT YEAR!" and "I'm gay!"