Worst Jokes Ever
When you're walking through the garden section at Walmart and you hear your grandpa screaming, "They're in the fucking trees!"
Knock knock!!
Who's there??
Dishwasher!!
Dishwasher who??
Dishwasher way i used to talk when i got my head kicked in!
What do you call a spice with a PHD?
Dr. Pepper
How do you make a fruit punch?
You give it a pair of boxing gloves.
The happier they get, the less they see.
Me nan.
The clock struck one!
Then down did come!
Hickory dickory doc
What am I?
Random- a mouse?
Me- no dumb shit!
Random- what is it?
Me- the guillotine!
Funny.
What did the bull say to his son when he was going to school? "Bison!"
What does your mum and Istanbul have in common?
They are all insane comebacks!!!
He dead, he alive, but most importantly, he got a new hard drive.
Once you go Asian, you can solve the equation.
When the police caught him stealing the batteries, he got immediately charged!
Is depression an emotion or a state of mind? I call it a lifestyle.
He's dead.
Jeff, did you hear they're making a film about Jimmy Savile? It’s a very touchy subject.
Yeah, I did, Gary, but did you hear the reviews on the Bill Cosby film? People said it was so boring it put them to sleep.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce out of school early!
I wanted to visit my pet fish, but it was hard to sea it through the darkness.
Alzheimer's protesters march chanting. "What do we want? Better treatment... When do we want it? ...Want what?"
Poo.