Worst Jokes Ever

Being sad is my only happiness.

Son: Hey dad, why is my name Canada?

Dad: Because you were made there.

Mum: We haven't been to Canada.

Dad: Hol' up a minute.

Daughter: Where was I born?

Dad: Alabama.

Daughter: That is nice.

Mum: We have never been to Alabama.

Dad: RUN!

What is Thanos's favorite video game?

Pokémon Snap.

Q. There were two sisters. One was having twins and asked her sister to help name the children. If one was named Deniece, what was the other named?

A. Denephew.

There's nothing else that can beat up dog.

What's up, dog?

Just my depression!

What did Gandalf say to Mario? "You shall not pass!"

Boy, look at your hair. It be looking like the McDonald's symbol.

What's worse than having an honorary degree from Harvard? Being homeless and having an honorary degree from Harvard.

A man in conversation with his friend says that his wife is on a 3-week diet. The friend curiously asks, how much has she lost? The man replies, "her life."

Girl: Mom, meet my boyfriend.

Mom: Meet my boyfriend.

Girl's boyfriend: Dad, is that you? Are you back from the supermarket with milk?

Mom's boyfriend: Uh, gtg.

There are millions of people in the world, yet you are here.

You know a baby bottle looks kinda like a penis... Also sausage and hotdogs too.

What's better than 5 babies in one dumpster?

1 baby in 5 dumpsters.

What do you call a sheep with wings?

FUCK OFF GULLER!

We’ll be back.

12/8?

Dick muncher.

Literally no one: Why can't you hear the pterodactyl?

Random person: I don't know.

No one: BECAUSE THEY ARE EXTINCT!

Random person: Ha, cool, I guess.