Worst Jokes Ever

What did the Alabama graduate say to the Tennessee graduate?

"Welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order please?"

So, a guy walked into the store and said to the worker: "Is this free?"

Then the worker said: "Nope, 'cause I'm on sale!"

Q: How did the explorers get to school?

A: They rode the Colum-bus!

What are the similarities between Stephen Hawking and a bull?

They both charge.

I always look at the earth and think, "Ahh, this is TREE-ific!"

How many dead babies does it take to clean my refrigerator?.....it gotta be more than 4 because the fridge is still dirty.

Hi. Did sskskss sis askance ddodks sjissmsnsiam a sksddkddd mc?

Two men walk into a bar. You'd think the second one would've seen it.

What soda do dogs drink? Pupsi.

A chicken walks into a bar.

He orders Dr. Pepper.

He then lays a good scrambled egg.

Dumb.

What do you call a flying octopus?

An octocopter! 🚁

I am never letting Elsa take care of my dog again. Last time she just let it go.

"Abortion: Another word for dying at spawn."

Three men were in a desert. One man was holding a jug, the 2nd was holding a paper bag, and the last was holding a car door. A man came around and asked the 1st why he had a jug. He said it was his water and if he got thirsty, he would take a drink.

Then he asked the second why do you have a paper bag? The guy said this is my packed lunch, so if I get hungry, I will eat my lunch.

Then he asked the last man why he has a car door and he said if he got hot he would roll down the window.

My version of the Roses are Red Poem in MW3:

I thought Soap could trust you. And so did I too. So WHY IN BLOODY HELL DOES MAKAROV KNOW YOU?!

Jake had sex and broke her hymen, guess he’s Jake the ripper.

Why can orphans type? Because they can’t find the home row.

Why do lawyers use Viagra? To grow taller.

My dog died.