Worst Jokes Ever

What do you call a man with a curly toe?

Carlito.

Nick sucks dick.

Your mum is so fat, when she sat in a monster truck, it turned into a lowrider.

So, no head?

I was at a baseball game and I was wondering why the ball was coming closer.

And then it hit me.

If Iron Man and Quicksilver teamed up,

They would be alloys.

A NASA scientist is sitting in a bar when a Martian walks in and orders a martini.

The NASA scientist quickly realizes he is dreaming and wakes up. He turns to his wife and tries to explain the dream, but she rolls over and ignores him because she is tired of listening to him.

The NASA scientist begins to sob because his marriage is in shambles. lmao.

Why do women wear makeup and perfume?

Because they're ugly and smell bad.

So I added Paul Walker on Xbox the other day, and it’s annoying cause all he does is sit on the dashboard.

What's an old man's favorite food?

Wrinkled onions.

What happened when the American broke his arm?

He went broke.

Why are french fries rude?

A Black man walked into a bar.

What goes in dry and comes out wet?

A dick.

Just a joke: When Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said, "It'll get better, just walk it off!"

A man walked into a zoo and there was only one dog.

He came out and said, "It was a shitzu."

You know sex is better than logic, but I could've proved it...

What do you call a toddler lying in the middle of the road? Speed bump.

I was watching a TV show where a guy was hanging off a cliff, then the series ended... I guess you can say that they left that guy on a cliffhanger!

Mushroom?