How do you know when your vegetables are completely cooked?
The wheelchair rises to the top.
Worst Jokes Ever
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Mother!
Mother who?
It's your mother.
I had a dream I was a muffler last night...
I woke up EXHAUSTED! 😂😃
Guys, can we stop this stupid drama? I just wanna post my "Doin' Your Mom" lyrics and funny jokes! Please stop it!
Lenda: Hey, can you help me with my homework, please?!
Genda: Okay, and if I do, you won't make a fuss about it!
Lenda: I'll try!
3 mins later.
Genda: THAT IS NOT THE RIGHT ANSWER!
Lenda: Then what is 90 million?
Genda: WHA WHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lenda mocking her: WHA OH YEAH YOU ARE A TERRIBLE TUTOR!!!!!!!!
4 mins later.
Genda: What is the capitol of watchington?
Lenda: Uh.....Idaho!
Genda being sarcastic: Yes...it is not the capitol of watchington...BECAUSE IT IS A STATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lenda: Oh, you mean Iowa!
Genda: UHHHHHHHHHHHH CUSS WORD!!!!!!!!!!
Lenda: U can't help that I'm the smart one...okay sweetie now you go be dumb and I go be smart! LATER SISTER! Oh wait, can you help me with my homework?
Genda: NO! You the smart one so you do it!
If you drink, don’t drive. People cause accidents.
If you drink, don’t park. Accidents cause people.
Your mom's so fat, the photo from last Christmas is still printing!
I don't really trust the press. Sometimes they wear badges that say "press," but if you press those badges, they just fall over, all surprised.
Why was the belt arrested? Because it held up pants.
My parents said they had to make a lot of sacrifices in order to pay for my education.
They were both druids.
I went out with this girl the other night. She wore this real slinky number. She especially looked great going down the stairs.
I really like those "driverless cars." I saw loads of them last week in the car park.
I find it difficult to count to ten in French: un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept.
I can't say the next one because I have a "huit" allergy.
I went on a ballooning holiday recently. I put on four stone.
I think the pollen count is a difficult job. Especially if you have hay fever.
A few days ago, I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet, and he sent me a large goat with a long neck. Turns out I phoned Dial-a-Llama.
I hate sitting in traffic, I always get run over.
One of my earliest memories is seeing my mother's face through the oven window as we played hide and seek, and she said: "You're getting warmer!"
If you ever get chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire.
They're trained for that.
Hello, I'm C-3PO. And this is my brother, WD-40.