Cool, new word of the day: Marijuana.
“Does Marry wanna smoke a joint?”
Worst Jokes Ever
STOP POSTING ABOUT AMONG US! I'M TIRED OF SEEING IT! MY FRIENDS ON TIKTOK SEND ME MEMES, ON DISCORD IT'S FUCKING MEMES!
I was in a server, right? And ALL OF THE CHANNELS were just Among Us stuff. I-I showed my champion underwear to my girlfriend and t-the logo I flipped it and I said "hey babe, when the underwear is sus HAHA DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DI DI DING." I fucking looked at a trashcan and said "THAT'S A BIT SUSSY." I looked at my penis. I think of an astronauts helmet and I go "PENIS? MORE LIKE PENSUS" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHGESFG
What do you call a male cow that snores?
A “Bull Dozer”.
Doin (DYM 49).
Who is Santa's favorite singer?
Elf-is Presley.
Your Friend: Bro, I'm having a movie sleepover tonight. I've invited 17 people, wanna come?
You: Yeah, but why so many people?
Your Friend: Because the DVD says only 18+ viewers.
You: Dude!!!!
"That's not my name, but okay, that's cool. My name is Coco, but okay, and I already knew Jayden was a boy who is bi."
Go drop-kick an orphan. No one will know, not like his parents would know.
If you think I sound sexy, just reply "sexy."
Please read all of it. I know it's long, please read all of it.
This dad heard his daughter praying. As she was praying, she came to an end: "Goodnight grandma, goodbye grandpa, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy." The dad didn't think about the grandpa part and headed to bed. The next morning, the mom and dad heard that the grandpa died. The dad thought it was just coincidence, so he carried on with his day. At night, he heard his daughter again: "Goodbye grandma, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy." After he heard "goodbye grandma," his facial expression changed, and he went straight to bed. The next morning, the grandma died out of nowhere. The dad began to worry and continued on with his day. At night, he heard his daughter again: "Goodbye daddy, goodnight mommy." The dad got scared, so he had a plan to go to work and stay hidden there. So that's what he did. When he got home the next day, his wife asked where he had been, and he replied back, "Sorry honey, I had a horrible day today." She replied back saying: "Oh, you think you had a bad day? The mailman just died on the front porch this morning!" If you get it, you get it.
Me and my wife were out at dinner. Me being 48 and her being 19, people were screaming at us and calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.
"GWEN, can you help me? There's some person messing with me. There name is JADSA, something like that. Look for a joke named Jayden."
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high, grabbed Jill's thigh, and said, "I know you wanna."
Jill said yes, lifted up her dress, and then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
I saw an orphan fall in the street crying, so I ran up to him and said, "Are you okay? Where are your parents?"
If you go broke, you could always rent parking garages on your huge ass forehead.
When the school shooter is about to leave the school, and then the autistic kid screams, "Hooray!"
What’s the difference between an orphan and a baseball field?
One has a home.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find their way home.
A man went into a library to get a book on how to commit suicide.
The librarian said, "No, you won't bring it back."
I would tell you a joke about my dink, but it's too long.