Worst Jokes Ever

Yo mama so fat, when she walked past the TV, I missed three episodes.

I scaled your forehead, and all I saw was 1000.

Your hairline is so big it took your mom a map to find it.

A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find Jesus instead, he'll help you!"

And then the man says, "It's pretty hard to 'get help' from something that doesn't exist."

Someone went up to an orphan and asked him why he was talking to the air. He said he was talking to his mom.

I meant to say, what’s an orphan's least favorite store to go to?

Family Dollar store.

Jesus is the worst, just joking; he is the best! Best best BFF great guy ever that has a miracle. Jesus comes from Bethlehem! 😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😇

My fish died, and I didn't do anything. I just took my fish for a walk.

I'd tell a joke about how my mom was abusive, but I either forgot everything, or she just wasn't there.

Follow me if you need advice, or just follow me.

How many heterosexual men does it take to change a lightbulb in heaven?

Both of them.

Jack and Jill wanted some pills.

So they went to the dealer; he saw they were kids and said, "Fuck this shit," then Jack rocked his ass and took all the good shit except birth control pills.

I got fired my first day at the bank. This old lady told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

What do a fat woman and bricks have in common? They both get laid by Mexicans.

What's the difference between your dad and a boomerang?

The boomerang comes back.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a thrill with pills. Jack came down, fuck a clown, and the cum made them frown.

What does Joe Biden call a room full of kids? A toy room.

When you realize you forgot to mop your room, you hear footsteps.

What in the world jumps the highest? Emo kids, some of them are still in the air.

Q: How do you turn a cat into a fish?

A: Tell the woman not to wash down there.