Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between me and Bill Cosby?
I haven't been caught.
Zelensky: I'm begging for Russian forces to withdraw from the whole of Ukraine.
Putin: Crimea river.
Q: What did the late cannibal get when he got to the party?
A: A cold shoulder.
What did the pencil say to the sharpener? Please grind me!
Man: I must confess, Father.
Priest: What are you here to confess?
Man: I hit my wife and blamed her for what happened to our son.
Priest: And what happened to your son?
Man: He said a man raped him.
Priest: When and where did this happen?
Man: A local church. I don't know which one.
Priest: ...By whom?
Man: A priest, he said. He said the priest had black hair and blue eyes, kind of like you.
Priest: ...Shit
What's an orphan's second favorite movie?
Home Alone 2.
Yep, this happens when you play G.T.A., good God!
Use the roast I put of flat earth.
Q: Why did Bill Cosby get away with it?
A: Because the women were all Cosby-ing for it!
Mom: Quit making suicidal jokes!
Me: Don't worry, it will all be over soon, Mom!
Mom: ❓❓❓
What is a Mexican's favorite move in a video game?
Wall jumping.
What do you call an orphan that grows to be a priest?
Fatherless.
What’s the difference between a fetus and a woman?
A fetus has more rights.
Ur mum so fat that when she walked into a bar, they said, "Sorry, we don't sell food here."
Ur mum is so fat that when she lived in a flat on the highest floor, she fell through the inner floor.
What’s white and sticky and better to spit out than to swallow? Toothpaste.
I'M SOOOO SAD. (I have depression btw)
Asian conversation:
Person 1: Ni hao, how's it going?
Person 2: Konnichiwa, what's up?
Person 1: I've bing chilling.
We see the movie Aladdin, and Abu steals more than Aladdin. I’m surprised that Abu hasn’t gotten killed yet.
I felt bad for a dog, and I looked to my left, and there was an orphan, and I said I will make you a website, and I said there won't be a homepage.