Worst Jokes Ever

Why are most absent dads mechanics?

They like to nut and bolt.

What was Morgan Freeman called before the Civil War?

Morgan.

Your mama's like a cardboard box: open to the public and easy to nail.

Are you made of Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?

Cause damn, you lookin' kinda Au Ti S Ti C!

"And the Lord said unto John, 'Come forth and receive eternal life,' but John came fifth and got a toaster."

"Did you hear about the worst zoo in the world? It only had one dog in it. It was a Shih Tzu."

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?

Because he had "no-body" to go with.

What do alien moms like to drink? Starbucks.

How did the digital clock show off to its mother?

Look, Ma, no hands!

What did the white baby say to his Chinese parents?

"Two wongs don’t make a white."

What's the different when a little boy drops in Japan then and now?

When a little boy falls today he gets back up. But then everyone fell and never came back up.

Q: What do you call a rich Asian? A: Dr.

My dad never came back with the milk. My mom told me he's in the army.

My mom has a toy that I see all the girls and guys seem to play with, and the toy is between my mom's legs.

As a brother, I have to report my sister has a few new symptoms that are going around, and those symptoms are that she has big titties, a sweet pussy, and a great personality.

I’ve always been a bit insecure about having thicker thighs.

Now I realize it allows me to fit more scars!

How do crabs honor their mom’s birthday? The shell-abrate.

What do you call a mom that can’t draw? Tracy.

What's Momma bear's favorite baseball team? The Cubs.