20 seconds jokes

Today, I learned that a group of piranhas can maul a small child down to the bone in under 20 seconds. Well, I lost my job at the aquarium today.

I have a fish that can breakdance!

Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.

I had a gold fish who could breakdance on the carpet.

For 20 seconds.

And only once... :(

I have a fish that can break dance. Only for about 20 seconds, and only once.

1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?

- A bus full of children.

2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?

- He died of a yeast infection.

3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...

- “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”

4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...

- Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.

5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...

- Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Why are planes the fastest readers? Because they went through 100 stories in 20 seconds.

To become a licensed airline pilot requires 1,500 hours (two years) of training. But it only takes 10 seconds to steal the pilot’s jacket and hat.

"Boom, quick; you have five seconds to give me three reasons to live." "1......2......3 .....4....5..." Did you notice you said nothing at all?

Have you ever tried eating a clock? It's really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.

I'm a fast reader, I can go through 20 stories in a few seconds.

Chuck Norris and Time had a race.

Result: Time is still running...