My dad never came back with the milk my mom told me he's in the army
Best emoji:🫃
My mom has a toy that I see the all the girls and guys seem to play to play with and the toy is between my mom's legs.
As a brother I'm have to report my sister has a few new symptoms that's is going around and those symptoms is that she has big titties, sweat pussy, and a great personality.
Whats the square root of 2001? 9/11
I was walking by the gun shop earlier and saw everything was 40% off, I didn't know back to school sales were already starting
Person 1 " I love KFC" Person 2 "yeah, me too!" Person 1 " How many have you gotten?" Person 2 " How am I supposed too remember how many buckets of chicken I have ordered!?" Person 1 " Chicken? What chicken, what do you think KFC stands for?" Person 2 "? Kentucky Fried Chicken?" Person 1 " What? I thought it meant kidnapping foster children." Person 2 " BLOODY WHATT??"
Roses are red The sun isn't shining My mental state Is rapidly declining
COMMUNISM IS ACTUALLY KINDA TIGHT.
why can't black people have nightmares? cause we shot the last one that had a dream
marriage is like buying a car. you see one that you like and then you buy it. But over the years, it gets older, rusty, and the certain parts stop working. then you walk into a dealership and look at all the new ones and your still stuck with the old ones. you look over and go "but i just wanna sit in it. Just once." "its even got leather interior, its chrome, it doesn't even have oil/gas leaks!" " and it doesn't squeak!"
What do you call a paralyzed kid with a gun? Special Forces
Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use a honeycomb.
I think i would like a job cleaning mirrors, it's just something I could really see myself doing.
I don't want to brag, I finished the puzzle in under a week and it said 2-4 years on the box.
My dog is a genius... I asked him what is two minus two, he said nothing.
I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.
Three years ago my doctor told me I was going deaf. I haven't heard from him since.
"A dyslexic atheist lies awake at night wondering if there really is a Dog."
"And the Lord said unto John, 'Come forth and receive eternal life,' but John came fifth and got a toaster."
