Worst Jokes Ever

I was at work and a few fat women came up to me and asked for some help.

Later that week, I ran into them on the dance floor. One of them asked me if I wanted to dance. I told her no. The other asked me if I knew what was cracking. I calmly said, "The floor."

Why is Santa's sack so big?

Because he only cums once a year.

What did Jesus say when he was left hanging on the cross?

"Well this is one hell of a way to spend my Easter vacation!"

Q: What's another name for cumming inside a woman?

A: Loading up the dishwasher.

It's always the little things that make us laugh.

What’s the difference between a feminist and a school shooter?

A school shooter actually makes an impact on its targets.

What's the similarity between Christmas stuffing and my penis?

I like them both inside dead animals, because alive animals feel too much like men, and then I'd cum too quick.

A blonde starts a new job at a local car dealership when a wealthy gentleman comes in looking for a spacious car for his large family. The blonde is excited as she gets commission, so eagerly shows him the most expensive SUVs.

The gentleman has a good look around before saying to the blonde, "It looks perfect.... But cargo space?" To which she instantly replied, "Oh, I'm sorry, sir, car only for road."

What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say when you leave?

"Thanks for coming. Hope you come again soon."

Attended my boss's funeral to pay my respects. On my way out, I leaned over his casket and whispered lightly, "Well, look who's thinking outside the box now."

Why do orphans only have 363 days?

They don’t have Mother’s Day or Father’s Day.

People definitely have the N-word pass in Africa.

I Googled "How to start a Wildfire." It gave me 28,452 matches.

New groupchat??

Your mum stinks of disabled people.

Wanna know why?

I don't know either, you tell me.

Some people think prison is one word, but to criminals, it’s a whole sentence.

What did the Indians say to the Arabs? "We are going to make 10/12!"

Yo mama so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.

Yo mama so fat, she was the asteroid that killed the dinos.

Yo mama so fat when she goes to the shoe store, she needs to take their advice and get XXXXL.