Worst Jokes Ever
Paddy's beautiful wife has not had an orgasm for the 15 years they have been married.
The doctor suggests that she may be overheating during sex, and a cool breeze may help.
Being a bit of a cheapo, he decides not to buy a fan but asks his friend Mick to waft a towel over them during the act.
After half an hour, still no sign of success, so his mate suggests swapping places. "I'll have a try, Paddy, you waft the towel."
Paddy agrees, and after two or three minutes, Paddy's wife has a moment of sexual pleasure, screaming in ecstasy for the first time in 15 years.
Paddy taps his mate Mick on the shoulder and says, "And that, Mick, is how you waft a bloody towel!"
Donald Trump being president is the biggest joke.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Por que.
Por que who?
"That's all, folks," in the words of Por que Pig.
A boy with Down Syndrome was talking with his mom.
“Mom, why did God make me like this?” he said.
“It’s because God made you special,” she said.
“Just kidding, I was only talking about your needs.”
Why did the family move away?
Because they lost their son.
These jokes cheered me up from suicide. This is amazing material. God bless all of you.
I went trick or treating this year with friends. Good thing I dressed as a zombie...
no one could tell that it was their blood.
Fatty and Skinny were in a bed.
Fatty rolled over, and Skinny was dead.
What has more brains than Kurt Cobain?
The wall behind him.
How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb?
One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her.
...just kidding-
- none. They can't change anything.
Mama Mia's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is our sauce.
Two lesbians adopted a cat. That night, the cat ran away. Why?
Because it heard one say, "I'm gonna eat that pussy."
What do you call a downy under water?
Dead fish
Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.
What do you call it when a Mexican and a pedophile fight?
Alien vs Predator.
What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it.
My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.
What type of file does it take to turn a 4 mm hole to a 44 mm hole?
A pedophile.
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Abner’s wife was laying on her death bed. She suddenly used all her strength to sit up and say to her husband, “I must tell you something, or my soul will never know peace. I have been unfaithful to you, Abner. In this very house, not one month ago.”
“Hush, dear,” soothed Abner. “I know all about it. Why else have I poisoned you?”