Worst Jokes Ever
You get on an elevator and you find the Pope and Donald Trump cowering from two snarling wolves. In your hand you find a revolver with only two bullets in it... what do you do?
You shoot the Pope and the Donald each in a leg and exit the elevator at the next stop.
Why did Michael Jackson go to Walmart? Because he heard boys' pants were half off!
Q: What do you say to a kid who threatens to beat you up?
A: We can always rearrange your liver 😏
I wasn’t close to my dad when he died. It’s a good thing he stepped on a land mine.
My grandpa died during World War II. He was the best concentration camp guard they have ever seen. RIP.
I hate when my class want to play hangman. Not because they hang a man, but because I get jealous.
Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.
Me: Hey, that's a really heavy bag, do you have a lot of books and magazines in there?
The Quiet Kid: Yeah, magazines.....
Have you ever had sex camping?
It's inTENTS.
(sorry in advance this joke is brutal)
What has 12 heads and 24 eyes?
The bin at the back of the abortion clinic.
Why don’t Chinese people model? Because it would look like the same model every time.
MVP means: “Most Valuable Player.”
In Chuck Norris' case: “Most Vaginas Penetrated”.
What's worse than ants in your pants? Michael Jackson.
Those poor kids at Sandy Hook, all they wanted was books. Instead, they got magazines.
Why did Nicholas Cage and Angelina Jolie attend Paul Walker’s funeral?
He went from "The Fast and the Furious" to "Gone in 60 Seconds."
Why wasn't Michael Jackson admitted to college? He refused to declare a major; he only wanted to do minors.
Me: Man, I wish my clothes were emo.
Friend: Why?
Me: So they would hang themselves.
I was sweating like Michael Jackson in a Chuck E. Cheese.
Hey JFK, what would you do if you were in a fight?
JFK: Well, I'd give them a piece of my mind.
I lost my black friend in the shadows. I lost my white friend on the wall. I lost my Asian friend in the sand and I lost my Islamic friend in the bombings.