Worst Jokes Ever

Uh oh, stinky!

Why did the poop cross the street? Because it was trying to get in the toilet.

New Teacher: "I was an orphan as a kid."

Students: "OOF!"

Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"

Students: "Your parents!"

It's all shits and giggles till somebody giggles and shits.

Roses are red, violets are blue, Cause comes near my Willy.

A boy and his mother survived a car crash.

The boy asks his mother, "Was that like how I was born? A hard smash?" The mother replies with "More like an accident."

So, I went out to eat the other day, and the waitress came up to me and asked if I wanted a glass of water. I said, "Yes ma'am." She said, "Oh honey, you don't have to call me ma'am, I'm not that old." I said, "Okay, thanks bitch."

What’s the difference between hungry and horny?

Where you put the cucumber 🥒

My mother really hates my dad for some reason. Maybe it was because he cheated on her, or maybe because it was her mom. Either way, it really ruined her birthday.

I have a problem. My dad and my girlfriend have the same birthday. So, one took my virginity, and the other is my girlfriend.

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?"

"9/11"

"9/11 Who?"

"I thought you'd never forget..."

I once had a cat that reminded me of Doug Ford.

Fat, mean, and probably inbred.

What do painters and prostitutes have in common?

They're both paid for a good finish.

Hitler visits a lunatic asylum. The patients give the Hitler salute. As he passes down the line, he comes across a woman who isn't saluting.

"Why are you not saluting like the others?" Hitler barks.

"Mein Führer, I'm the nurse," she responds. "I'm not crazy!"

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "You know you wanna." Jill said yes and lifted her dress so they could have some fun, but stupid Jill forgot her pill and now they have a son.

I am glass! People see right through me.

A poster for the winter relief fund reads: "No one should be allowed to go hungry or suffer from the cold." A worker says to his friend, "Now were not even allowed to do that."

What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common? They both come on little white crackers.

What does a Chinese machine gun sound like? "ching chong ching chong tang tang."

There is a party in my mouth, and your dick is invited.