Q. What do you say when your friend has an abortion? A. May your baby rest in pieces.
I'm what they call a ✨️askhole✨️
A person who will consistently ask for your advice and wisdom, but then proceed to do the exact opposite of what you say
"Nice pants. Can I test the zipper?"
I'm not completely useless....
I can be used as a bad example!?
sully: praised after landing in the hudson river garuda indonesia 421: sullys co pilot:
Me: *reading a sign* "Children are a gift from god" Me: "No, they are a gift from the underworld"
Mother: "Yeah I picked you up at the giftshop on my way out" Mother: "You are a spawn of Satan"
Why did the rapper become a gardener?
Because he wanted to drop some FRESH SEEDS
Why did the rapper become a painter?
To BRUSH UP on his rhymes
Why did the rapper become a weatherman?
To predict the HEAT of his next single
Why did the rapper become a carpenter?
To build some SOLID BARS
Why did the rapper go to the zoo?
To find some WILD BEATS
Why did the rapper go to school?
To learn how to drop some KNOWLEDGE on his tracks
Why did the rapper bring a map to the studio?
Because he was searching for the PERFECT FLOW
Why did the rapper carry an umbrella?
For some sick DRIZZLE on his tracks
They say birds of a feather flock together, so I guess that’s why KRIS and COMMON SENSE haven’t met yet
Kris looks like a Neanderthal, the only difference is that Neanderthals serve a purpose in HUMAN HISTORY
Yo Leo, are you an interior decorator? Because when you enter a room, it becomes EMPTY
Leo might not be the dumbest person in the world... but she’d better hope they don’t DIE
If I had a dollar for every brain cell LEO has, I’d have ONE DOLLAR
BlessedBrian, your secrets are safe with ME... because I wasn’t LISTENING when you told them
