Worst Jokes Ever
What is something you can’t say in a superhero movie?
“Is it a bird, is it a plane, well whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the World Trade Center.”
White girl: So this crystal cures my depression and helps me lose weight?
Me holding a rock of meth: YES!!!
I used to suffer from depression but through hard work, persistence, and never giving up..\n\nI now suffer from anxiety AND depression :\
My doctor prescribed a new drug to treat my depression.
It’s called Enditol.
I've realized that suicide would solve all my problems... if I could just get the right people to try it.
Male Patient: So I just pull my pants down and bend over for my prostate exam.
Doctor: Yup.
Male: Ok I'm ready....hey doc that doesn't feel like a finger.
Doctor: He he yeah...im not a doctor.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t have a home to run to.
Your mama is so fat, she needs two phones to take a picture of herself.
"Hi, this is Dave's orphanage—you make it, we take it."
Q: What's really long and black?
A: The line at KFC.
I told an orphan there were 363 days in a year.
[Them]: "Don't you think you'll feel ashamed of all the suicide jokes you've made when you get older?"
[Me]: "When I what?" 0-0
Q: How do emo kids complement each other?
A: I like your cuts g.
There's a new bird disease, it's called churpies.
It's a canariel disease, untweetable.
Took my receipt to the sperm bank so I can get this comeback.
What's big and white and can't climb trees?
A fridge.
Why don’t you act like your hairline and kindly take several steps back?
This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"
God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."
An orphan can’t ever play Grand Theft Auto V because he can’t get a wanted level.
What’s one thing that an orphan can never get in poker?
A full house.