New We Jokes - Page 11 - Worst Jokes Ever

I threw a gay person into a fire, now we call him LGBBQ

We should stop being mean to orphans.

We should be cruel instead.

31. During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password: "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento".

When asked why such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.

32. Two crows were in a field when they noticed a figure that looked like a man in the distance.

"See that over there? What is that?", says the first crow.

The second crow takes a long look, "That's a scarecrow. Looks authentic, doesn't it."

"How can you tell it's a scarecrow and not a person?", replies the first crow.

"Look at its hand. No cellphone", says the second crow.

33. Three friends stranded on a deserted island find a magic lamp. Inside it is a genie who agrees to grant each friend one wish.

“I want to go home,” says the first friend. The genie grants her wish.

“I want to go home, too,” says the second friend. And the genie sends him back home.

“I’m lonely,” says the third friend. “I sure wish my friends were back here.”

34. A cruise ship passes by a remote island, and all the passengers see a bearded man running around and waving his arms wildly.

“Captain,” one passenger asks, “who is that man over there?”

“I have no idea,” the captain says, “but he goes nuts every year when we pass him.”

35. After Sunday church, the priest would hand us each an orange and a big cookie. A little girl once lied and took two oranges, but the priest told her she mustn't lie because God is watching. Then, the girl took two cookies and lied about it. When asked why she had done that, she said because she thought that God was only watching oranges.

36. I was in my garden when I got the news that my father had fallen from a 20 feet ladder and was in the hospital. I rushed to the hospital expecting that my father had some major fractures, but he was alright except for some minor cuts. When I told him that it was a miracle, he disagreed and told me, "Son, I had just fallen from the first step of the ladder."

We see the movie Aladdin, and Abu steals more than Aladdin. I’m surprised that Abu hasn’t gotten killed yet.

Ur mum so fat that when she walked into a bar, they said, "Sorry, we don't sell food here."

When you ask for plastic surgery, they said, "We could not fix you, but the only way is to wear a mask to fix your ugly face."

Kid: Hey, Mum, why are we pushing the car off the cliff?

Mum: Shut up, son, you’ll wake your father!

An orphan was running down the road. A car pulled up and said, "Get in." So the orphan got in and said, "Where are we going?" The kidnapper said, "I'm taking you to my house." The orphan replied, "OML, ARE YOU ADOPTING ME!?"

A male unexploded landmine was in love with a female unexploded landmine, and he said to her...

"Hey, baby, we should bang sometime!"

Do trees pee?

How else do we have No. 1 pencils?

My entire family "TAKE THIS GIRL TO AN ASYLUM!!!"

Me "OH NO" 💀

why is America so bad at clash of clans because we already lost two towers.

Want to know how to fit 71 people in a car? Two in the front while we handle 69 in the back.

So can we agree that Jesus was the first victim of cancel culture?

Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :)

So I saw a bag full of children near a dumpster. I guess we know where the orphans are when the parents didn’t want them.

Wouldn’t want to hope a Catholic priest comes along, otherwise the priest will have new sex toys.

"If we don’t have a strategy, then the enemy will never know our strategy."

-Sun Tzu, Art of War.

Do trees shit?

Well, how else would we get #2 pencils?

(First Person): Knock knock, who's there? (2nd Person): Lemme talk to you, when we finna slide, what we finna do, knock knock, who's there, time to make a move, slayin' all then demons and we gotta move in too.

(Second Person): Knock knock, (1st p): who's there, let me talk to you, be careful where you steppin' out cause you ain't bullet proof, knock knock, who's there? time to make a move, block is full of shooters, and they didn't come to hoop.