Washing-up jokes

Why did Sally get to go to Hawaii for free?

She washed up on the beach.

Why does an orphan go to a sewer?

So it can wash up.

So, I was in the bathroom at school washing up, and this girl walked out of the stall and she was like, "Hey, can you make me laugh? I have been having a pretty bad day." And I was like, "Sure." I was like, "Come here." So she came over to me. I was like, "Girl, look at yourself in the mirror." And she started laughing so hard, and she said, "I'm so ugly."

I've always wanted to WAVE to a dolphin, but it could never SEA me.

That dolphin is so WASHED up. WATER you say we get revenge?

Why don't pirates take a bath before walking the plank?

'Cause they just wash up onshore.

I waved to you before, but you never sea me because you're so washed up.

Why don't pirates take a shower before they walk the plank?

They just wash up on shore.

Sailors are coming onto the boardwalk and are met by Colonel Sanders. He asks them, "What is your occupation?" They respond, "We are seamen." So he says, "Well, you better wash up 'cause I'm finger lickin' good!"

They asked JFK Jr. if he wanted to shower before his flight. He said, "No, I'll just wash up on shore!"

Why is Fairy's washing up liquid the best form of lubricant for anal sex?

No more tears.

Bleach solves so many problems: stains, dirty dishes, messes, and overpopulation.

So, some thieves robbed me the other day. They took everything I owned, except for the soap, towels, and deodorant.

Dirty bastards.

What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? You slap her on the ass and tell her to get back to work.

I started beating my washing machine because it wasn't working, my wife started crying.

Men vacuum in the same way that they have sex.

They just put it in and make some noise for 3 minutes before they collapse on the couch and think that their wife should be really happy.