Washing-up jokes

Sailors are coming onto the boardwalk and are met by Colonel Sanders. He asks them, "What is your occupation?" They respond, "We are seamen." So he says, "Well, you better wash up 'cause I'm finger lickin' good!"

Why don't pirates take a bath before walking the plank?

'Cause they just wash up onshore.

I waved to you before, but you never sea me because you're so washed up.

Why does an orphan go to a sewer?

So it can wash up.

Why is Fairy's washing up liquid the best form of lubricant for anal sex?

No more tears.

So, I was in the bathroom at school washing up, and this girl walked out of the stall and she was like, "Hey, can you make me laugh? I have been having a pretty bad day." And I was like, "Sure." I was like, "Come here." So she came over to me. I was like, "Girl, look at yourself in the mirror." And she started laughing so hard, and she said, "I'm so ugly."

Why did Sally get to go to Hawaii for free?

She washed up on the beach.

Why don't pirates take a shower before they walk the plank?

They just wash up on shore.

They asked JFK Jr. if he wanted to shower before his flight. He said, "No, I'll just wash up on shore!"

What do you do if your dishwasher stops working?

Punch her in the face and remind her of her duties.

How do you make a dishwasher work again?

Smack her ass and say "get back to work!"

What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? You slap her on the ass and tell her to get back to work.

What do you do when your dishwasher breaks down?

You punch her in the face and remind her of her duties.

What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Slap it on the arse and tell it to keep going!

I've always wanted to WAVE to a dolphin, but it could never SEA me.

That dolphin is so WASHED up. WATER you say we get revenge?