Knickers jokes

My friend was pissed off with me. I was sniffing his sister's knickers. It was worse that they were still on her. It was worse the family were there. It made the rest of her funeral really awkward.

Your momma's so fat, when she pulls her knickers down, her ass is still in them.

My mate caught me sniffing his disabled sister's knickers the other day. It wouldn't have been so bad, but she was wearing them at the time. It made the rest of the funeral so awkward.

I was absolutely fuming when I found out my mate was rifling through my mum's knicker drawer.

No one goes in there without my permission!

Why was the washing machine laughing?

It was taking the piss out of the knickers!

When the guy asks the girl if she's wet, she replies, "Yeah, milky knickers!"

What kind of knickers is the best?

Windy knickers, because they're the best kind.

Little Johnny's mom is taking a shower. Little Johnny walks in and asks, "What is that in between your legs?" Mommy says, "That is my keyhole." The next day, Little Johnny sees his dad taking a shower and Little Johnny asks, "What is that in between your legs?" Daddy says, "That is my key." The next day Little Johnny says to his dad, "Looks like the neighbor has the key to Mommy's keyhole too."

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.

Only one of Kenny's girlfriends has ever said he's good in bed.

But she has to. She's his mom.

So I ran into a woman the other day who says her vaginas is like a lottery ticket. She said it's because you have to be lucky to hit it... I thought it's because she was always scratching it.

Kid: What is between mom's legs?

Dad: Paradise.

Kid: What's between your legs?

Dad: The key to paradise.

Kid: Well, you better change the lock, the neighbor has the key to.