Tough Guy jokes

Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.

Chuck Norris used to be an orphan.

Because some families were too scared of his bravery to adopt him.

Chuck Norris doesn't breathe. He holds air hostage.

Chuck Norris destroys the yo mama!

When you're fighting with the emo kid and he brings his friends. Now you gotta fight the suicide squad.

The other day at school we had to write down our hero and what we would do if they walked into our house. I got off easy because my hero is Stephen Hawking.

My best friend looked at my arms and said, "Stop, sh*t, it's bad," then turns right around and says, "You look like a tiger."

So from here on out I am now Finn, the self-harming tiger.

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

"Chuck? How many push-ups can you do?" -- "All of them."