Tough Guy jokes

Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.

Chuck Norris used to be an orphan.

Because some families were too scared of his bravery to adopt him.

Chuck Norris destroys the yo mama!

Chuck Norris doesn't breathe. He holds air hostage.

Two kids were beating up a kid in an alley, so I stepped in to help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.

The other day at school we had to write down our hero and what we would do if they walked into our house. I got off easy because my hero is Stephen Hawking.

Chuck Norris would have died a couple of years ago, but death hasn't built up the courage to tell him.

My best friend looked at my arms and said, "Stop, sh*t, it's bad," then turns right around and says, "You look like a tiger."

So from here on out I am now Finn, the self-harming tiger.

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.