Took jokes

Yo mama so slow, she took nine months to make the joke. Thank god mine only took 6.

I took a banana to the doctor. It wasn't peeling well.

Last week I felt so high and mighty I thought I could fly. I took one shot, puffed through my pipe, and jumped in the air on a trampoline. I woke up in heaven.

I asked an angel, "How did I die?"

"Well, little monkey, you thought your bed was a trampoline and you hit your head. Your mom called the doctor, and the doctor said you were dead."

A couple enters a Chinese restaurant and takes their seats.

The waiter asks, "想吃什么 (Xiang Chi Shen Ma)?"

The wife responds, "吃鸡巴 (Chi Ji Ba)!"

Your hairline is so far back it took a trip to America.

A virgin is what I called my daughter before I took that away from her.

If you ever feel useless... Just remember that if you ever feel useless... Just remember that it took the US 4 presidents, trillions of dollars, thousands of lives, and 20 years to replace the Taliban with... the Taliban.

A man asked his girlfriend what she wanted to eat one night, and she said "Chinese food," so he took her to China. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Indian," so he took her to India. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Nothin'," so he took her to Africa.

Yo mama is so ugly, when I took a picture of her, my phone screen cracked.

I went to take out the trash, could not find you, so I went back in. The next day I found you.

I went to watch Ghost Rider at a cinema in Paris. As I took a seat, I saw none other than Pessi sat at the front row with a pen and notebook. I asked him what he’s was doing at the cinema since there was a big game coming up. He replied, “I’m taking notes from the best.”

And vanished.

Sometime ago I went to the morgue and asked if they took walk-ins.

One day my sister was making hotdogs. My sister asked me if I wanted some. I said no. Then my sister asked my friend, and he always said no.

Then my sister said I have to eat it plain with no flavor. We have no ketchup, mustard, or onions. My friend said I got something to give it flavor. My sister said, "Okay."

My sister left the kitchen to get something. I asked my friend what are you going to do. Then he took the hotdog bread, opened it, and ran his penis all around it, and put some white cream that came out of his penis. I put the hotdogs on the bread. Then my sister came back and put hotdogs on the hotdog bread. I told my sister the hotdogs are ready. She ate them. I asked how were the hotdogs. My sister said, "I don’t know what flavor is this, but it is very tasty."

Bro's chin looks like it's from that movie cartoon named Kronk. No wonder he got stung by a bee and took an ibuprofen to reduce the pain, but instead it grew longer.

I took the trash to the recycling bin, and two days later, my mom asked me, "Where's your sister?" I said, "In the recycling line to be turned into a bottle."

Yo mamma so poor that when we went on a date, she took off her shoe laces and said "spaghetti."

Why do humans hate aliens?

Because Fortnite took them out of the game, and I want aliens back in Fortnite!

Why are half the orphans missing? Because I took them, of course! :]

You are so hairy, Bigfoot took your picture!

Why was Kobe a good father?

He took his daughter with him.