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What do clams do on their birthday? They shell-brate, but they eat all the cake for themselves because they’re shellfish!

Go to an orphanage and tell the kids their parents came back as an April Fools' joke.

"History's repeating itself. WWIII is coming, and the second Russia nukes the U.S., they're all getting fucked."

I was watching a documentary about how storks carry babies from their previous life to the next.

In his old life, Michael Jackson must’ve been a teddy bear. The storks let him play with kids for a change.

I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for Miraculous Ladybug children's show, whatever the show is called, but it's a kids show. 💀 Now they’re searching up pictures of Tom Holland laughing in their absolute weirdness.

I like Tom Holland, but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school-provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on Google Docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him.

Orphans are the best targets for bullying, since who are they gonna cry to? Their parents?

How do you get an orphan to go to sleep?

Tell them their parents are waiting when they wake up.