The jokes
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Apples get picked.
What is the most common theme in Africa?
Starvation.
The "d" in Africa stands for democracy...
The "w" in Africa stands for wealth.
The "p" in Africa stands for peace.
I’m rather relaxed about death.
From quite an early age, I’ve regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.
I started an emo salsa band. We're called Hispanic at the Disco.
Did you hear about the new emo pizza? It cuts itself.
Q: What did the ocean say to the boy?
A: Nothing! Oceans don't talk, silly!
You when you face the boss the first time: :)
You when Dark Souls boss music starts playing on the second phase: :(
You when you ask why do you hear boss music: <(
You when the boss goes straight to his final phase after 1 hit:
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I was hunting at night for deer, and then I found one and shot it. I realized the deer I shot was actually my ex...
Your mom's so fat, Donald Trump built the wall around her.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? Because he got bummed too hard in the shower.
Are you the Lusitania 'cause I wanna fire a torpedo inside you?
Are you the Lusitania 'cause I wanna fire a torpedo into you?
The name is Doe, Dilbert Doe. You can call me Dil.
What war game can the French win? None, they are always losing.
Yo mama is so stupid, she took her dog to the vet because she thought he had a tube of lipstick stuck between his legs.
The convoy truckers are a joke.
What’s the difference between my mom and the Twin Towers?
My mom got hit by two cars. The Twin Towers got hit by two planes.