The jokes
When the ugliest cat looked at you, then you search up the ugliest thing in the world, you show up.
A priest walked in and said to the kids,
"Hey kids, are you ready for your faptism?"
Have you heard of the new sequel to "The Exorcist"?
A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son.
How long was the owl trick or treating?
Owl night long!
Why can't you solve a murder in Alabama?
All the DNA is identical and there are no dental records.
What's a cow's favorite newspaper?
The Daily M0Os.
Oh my frickig god, cleared my history and forgot my password for this, 3th account!
What's the difference between an emo kid and an apple? The apple falls from the tree.
Why do orphans dip their Oreos in milk?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Abortion is a really touchy subject for me. On one hand, there's dead babies! But on the other hand, women get a choice.
For this orphan, his dad didn't only go and get the milk. His mom did too.
What's the best way to tell your friend you hate them? Option 1: Kill them. Option 2: Walk away. Option 3: Kill each other.
Me: Why can't I just kms and leave them the pain?
What's the most emo name?
Carter.
What's an emo's least favorite game?
Cut the rope.
What do the twin towers and genders have in common? They used to be two, but now they're a sensitive subject.
I was in the Sahara Desert, dying of thirst. Thankfully, Pionel Pessi, the debut man, came to my rescue👨🚒. He brought in 100's of helicopters filled with bottles to quench my thirst. I asked him how he had so many bottles; "big games," he replied. Thanks for saving my life, my idol.
The cycle of Pionel Pessi:
- Ghosting👻
- Diving🐬
- Complaining to teammates😡
- Complaining to refs🤬
- Missing sitters🤦♂️
- Gets a lucky open net tapin⚽️
- Proceed to get 🐐 shouts
- Repeat🔁
People with REAL ball knowledge know he’s just an overrated tapin merchant 😭
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
The apples get picked.
Why doesn't the orphan's phone have a homepage, being it doesn't have a home?
I asked my mom what her biggest regret was for a project at school, and she said, "Oh, go look in the bathroom above the sink..." There was a mirror.
Yo momma's legs are like cottage cheese: white and chunky.
Yo momma's so dirty that when I asked what was for dinner, she sat on the table, opened her legs, and said "Crabs."