The jokes
You know what's the most awkward situation in the world? A rapper with erectile dysfunction.
Ukraine vs. Russia is CS:GO live the movie!
What’s long and black?
The line at the unemployment office.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to go to KFC.
My uncle died in 9/11. He was in the plane that crashed in the field.
What happened when the emo went through the self-checkout?
Two beeps went off.
9/11, also known as the day football stopped.
Why did the orphan go to church?
So he had someone to call a father.
Kid. What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?
Teacher. What?
Kid. Fruity pebbles with water.
Teacher. Why water?
Kid. Cause his dad never came back with the milk.
Q: What's worse than f**king a 2 year old?
A: Wiping the blood off of your clown suit afterwards.
If you call the number 800-273-8500 in Afghanistan, they say, "Can you fly a plane?"
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!”
The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
Shut the f*ck up.
Why can’t the emo play in trees? They’ll leave ‘em hanging.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they sit in the dark and cry xdddd.
The real dead hooker joke is on all of us from the Fraser Valley in BC. You know damn well each and everyone of us ate that Pickton hooker pork. Considering it stretching from the 80's-2000's, pretty sure he got 4 generations of Valley folk with that Pickton pork.
Schools be like "dRuGS arE BaD," then prescribe a 6-year-old Adderall for not wanting to sit in the same spot for 8 hours.
Emo girls be like, "How much am I worth? I don't know. Scan the code on your wrist."
Teacher: What does the pig give us? Student: Bacon.
Teacher: Very good. How about the chicken? Student: Meat.
Teacher: Good, now what would a fat cow give you? Student: Homework.
Three men walk into a bar. The 1st says, "Hey, how's it going?" The 2nd one says, "Great!" But then the 3rd man says, "Hello, where did my wife go? I swear she was just here!" What happened to the 3rd guy's wife?