The jokes
Can bees fly in the rain?
Not if they don't have their yellow jackets!
One day Little Johnny saw his grandpa smoking a cigar. Johnny said, "Can I have a puff?"
Grandpa said, "Can your dick touch your ass?"
Johnny said, "No, then that's your answer."
Later that day, Johnny saw his grandpa drinking a drink. Johnny said, "Can I have a sip?"
Grandpa said the same thing, "Can your dick touch your ass?"
Johnny said, "No, then that's your answer."
Later that night, Johnny was eating some cookies in the kitchen. Grandpa said, "Hi son, can I have a cookie?"
Johnny said, "Can your dick touch your ass?"
Grandpa said, "Yes."
Johnny said, "Good, go fuck yourself!"
What is the worst animal to play cards with? A cheater.
Why did the orphan cross the road and stop in a lane? To get run over.
What's the difference between a good TV show and a gay man?
One makes your day and one makes your whole week.
My dad said he'd get the milk, but he forgot I was in his car.
What did one butt cheek say to the other butt cheek?... You crack me up.
What did the Emo and the Orphan have in common?
They both hang with the trees.
Man 1: Why don’t we just put all the debt in the world on one man, then kill him?
Man 2: We tried that once. It started a cult.
Why did the Titanic sink? It's because they didn't want the icebergs' candy.
Why did the Titanic sink? Because it saw an iceberg selling candy.
If I had a genie grant me wishes, I wouldn't wish for a million pounds. I'd just wish that every time I buy something I just have the right amount of money in my pocket at the time.
What's the difference between a dwarf and a Japanese man?
I don't know, you tell me.
What did the slaves say when they met their soon-to-be masters?
"Aaah, a ghost!"
One day Timmy walks in on his mum in the bath. Then he asks, “What’s that dark fuzzy thing, mummy?” and mum said, “It’s a bush, every girl has one!” Then the next day he walks in on his dad in the shower. So he asks, “Daddy, what’s that long thing?” The dad then says, “It’s a sexy boy” accidentally. Timmy asks his dad, “What does sexy mean?” And the dad says, “Your mother, of course,” making it seem like a child-friendly compliment. Then the next day at school Timmy wanted to compliment his teacher. He walks up to her and says, “You’re so so sexy!”
Why is Santa always so happy? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
I went to take out the trash, could not find you, so I went back in. The next day I found you.
What's the difference between you and your sister?
Your dad.
What is the toughest part of the human body?
Anal hair, all the shit that they go through.
I was spending my holiday in Paris with my gf. As we were walking near the city, a meteor hit and killed my gf.
Forensics did an autopsy on the corpse and concluded that someone missed a pen and hit my gf from the PSG training ground. SHAME ON YOU PESSI FOR RUINING MY LIFE! 🤬😡