The jokes

My cousin said being gay was such a pain in the ass and I asked him why and I said, "Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, I get made fun of." and I said, "Why? Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, turd." Then I said, "Wow, at least I'm not the one with real pains in my ass, bro."

Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?

Kid: Why?

Man: 'Cause they have a family plan.

Kid: Oh, then I need to switch phone services then.

Man: Why?

Kid: I'm an orphan.

Man: *laughs out loud* That's tough!

(You can tell the joke shortened by saying, "Why can't an orphan use Verizon? 'Cause they have a family plan.")

An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.

What does a pirate say to the president?? Spread your legs so I can get my treasure back.

My mom said, "Why did I adopt you?"

I said, "Because the other three were mistakes."

This joke is kinda offensive, but here you go.

What’s the longest joke of the year? Pride month.

I still remember the last thing Gaster said before he kicked the bucket, it was, "Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?" (Sans)

What's the difference between Vin Diesel and an orphan?

Vin Diesel actually has family.

Yo momma so fat, I asked her to save me a seat, so she sat down and she saved 10, and one by one the legs started popping off.

What's the difference between an orphan and a corpse?

One of them has someone to mourn them.

One day an orphan went to jail, and a big dude went behind him and said, "I want you." The orphan said, "Finally!"