The jokes
Obi-Wan be like:
"To Darth Maul, lightsabers are blue, lightsabers are red. I cut you in half, why the fuck aren’t you dead?"
Why is being an electrician the easiest job in the world? It's literally light work.
I would take out the trash, but my mom said you weren't ready!!! XD
What makes Asians look like they're laughing at everyone? They're squinting before they hear the joke.
Spiderman needs to fight against the emos, new movie idea!
Kobe couldn’t clutch up with the rift to go.
What’s the best part of raping an 11 year old girl?
Killing the little bitch after you’ve finished with her.
Someone walks up to his dad and says, "Dad, what’s the difference between potentiality and reality?" Soo ok, the dad says to the son, "Go ask your mother, sister, and your brother if they’d sleep with the postman for $1,000,000." So the son comes back 5 minutes later and said, "Dad, they all said they would sleep with the postman." So, son, potentially, we have a million dollars, but in reality, we have two sluts and a gay one."
What did the constipated bum say to the other bum?
Piss don't s**t on me!
I can’t remember if I already said this or not. I might have already said this. Also, this is a true story.
So, I’m walking into a store in Amish country, and there’s this guy with a bear trap. Then my mom’s friend says, "This guy’s gonna catch some bears." Then the Amish guy stops, looks around, and whispers, “It’s for democrats.”
So here’s this funny story, and it’s true.
So my mom has this friend. When this guy was a kid, he was on the school bus, and this Mexican kid checked him into the aisle, so he hits him across the face with a metal lunchbox, and he started bleeding. Then they both get banned from the bus for a few days, so him and his dad drive to the Mexican kids house, and his dad says to the Mexican kids dad “if your kid ever picks on my kid again, I’m gonna come back to this house and kick your ass!”
It looks like your dad is not the only one missing.
If the genie from Aladdin was here, my three wishes would be for you to die, your kids to have a miserable life, and for everyone you love to die.
When you went to an ugly competition, the judges said, "No professionals allowed."
"Being broke is a disease, stay the fuck away from me."
I can’t take credit for this joke; it’s not mine.
Remember that time Joe Biden fell off his bike? He said it’s not his fault. He blamed the tires for being too inflated.
Kid: I forgot to flush the toilet, sorry I just forgot.
Adult: Just like your parents forgot YOU 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Your hairline is so bent, the McDonald's logo hairline made fun of it.
-E-
Why did the orphan fail in baseball?
He couldn't find home.
Why was the computer late for work?
He had a hard drive.