The jokes
Where are the ping pong balls? Check the bathroom stalls.
What was the first thing that went through the 9/11 victims' heads?
Their ankles.
What did the baseball ⚾️ say to the bat?
“We should touch base.”
Who will win the war: like for Russia, dislike for Ukraine?
Why go across town when you can go across the hall?
Yo mama's so fat, she even studied for the corona test.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples actually get picked.
Why did the cops come over?
Because parents had kids in their basement.
A farmer artificially impregnated a cow. The cow said to another cow, "It's a miracle, I'm pregnant." The other cow said, "That's impossible, it's only us cows in the field, you must be joking." The first cow said, "Nope, I'm serious... no bull!"
You know why women wear tampons?
So the crabs could bungee jump!
Why did the orphan go to church?
To finally call someone father. 😂😂
My Dad pays a lot of attention to our household and has always had a good eye for detail. He was the one that first noticed that my mother and I have the same ring size.
People always ask what the secret of our family's happiness is. It is simple really.
1. Television and computer games are limited to a couple of hours each week.
2. We all give each other a hand when needed.
Last but not least, we play Twister.
Dad's secretary left her position, he told me I could take it if I want it. He also told me the job pays well but there is a lot to catch up on. He kept me under the pump all week.
Last Christmas was awesome, the whole family came.
How did Princess Diana die?
Giving the glove box head.
Why is Death the world's biggest slut?
Death gets to f*** everyone.
Your mother is responsible for all the train drivers that are never ever late. She taught them all to pull out on time.
Why do orphans commit crimes?
It’s the only time they’re ever wanted.
Who are the fastest readers?
9/11 victims, they went through 91 stories in 11.2 seconds.