The jokes
I just gotta come out and say it: I like miners, and I don’t care what y’all think. I mean the fact that they are risking their lives just to make ours a little easier is amazing. I’ve always wanted to marry one, to be honest. Y’all need to give more respect to the mining ⛏ community.
Why did hockey wookie slap kissing Missy in the face? Because Huggy didn't get a kissy from Kissy Missy.
I will never forget my grandfather's last words:
"Can you hold the ladder correctly, damn it!"
If you’re American when you go in the bathroom...
... and American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?
European.
What did the tower say to the other?
"Man, someone's on fire today!"
Man, I am jealous of the victims of 9/11. They are the fastest readers, who went through 87 stories in 8 seconds.
Best friend makes joke about 9/11.
Me: My pop was a part of that!
Best friend: So sorry!
Me: My pop was the pilot of the plane, he flew through 89 floors.
That poor kid, he was fine until I bought him a mother's day card for his mum. The second he saw it, he burst out crying...
Technoblade was the second worst thing that happened to orphans.
Guys, they weren’t always orphans!
What did the woman say to the man?
"Stop."
What did the man do?
Keep going.
FUCK MEN IN THE ARSE
What did the water say to the beach?
Nothing, it just waved!
I just figured out the "X" in Max stands for the button on Tinder every girl wants to press when they see him.
Who is the best at musical chairs?
The kid in the wheelchair.
Why did the chiropractor go to jail? For not paying $75 in back taxes.
Life sucks, and so does the vacuum, and other things.
What did Africa say to the grass? Get off me!
My friend was in Afghanistan when he saw someone got shot, and then they bombed him. Now he called them the "Talkwakers."
How do you tell the difference between a girl spaghetti and a boy spaghetti?
Meatballs.
What did the North Tower ask the South Tower?
So, in "Revenge of the Sixth" when Anakin goes and kills the younglings, I thought to myself, "Hey, it’s just another day in an American school."