The jokes
Why'd the orphan cross the road? He was told his parents were on the other side.
What is a Manchester United fan’s favourite TV channel? The History Channel.
The second worst thing to happen to these orphans!
What's the fastest thing on earth?
An Ethiopian with a McDonald's Voucher.
"I'm thinking about killing off the main character in this book I'm writing."
"What type of book is it?"
"An autobiography."
How do you know when it's bedtime in the Netherlands?
When the big hand touches the little hand.
What's the difference between an orphan and a toy?
One is played with.
What's the difference between a prisoner and an orphan?
One is loved.
A man was shaving in the bathroom when all of a sudden Bubba, the boy he payed to mow his lawn, comes in to take a piss. The man can't help but look over his shoulder and he is surprised at how well endowed he is, and he asks: "Bubba, what's your secret?"
Bubba replies: "Well, every night before I get in bed with a woman I whack my dick on the bedpost three times. It works, and it sure impresses the girls!"
The man was excited at this easy suggestion and decided to try it that very night, before he went to bed with his wife. So he got to bed and whacked his dick on the bedpost three times and the wife wakes up and says "Bubba, is that you?"
What's the difference between me and an orphan's parents?
I actually come back with the milk.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
One's actually picked.
What did the tomato say to the tomato ketchup?
I saw a guy crossing a street once. The light was red.
What creature takes the most medicine?
Caterpillar.
Just accidentally emailed a porn link to a co-worker... So I emailed ten other co-workers the link and called it a virus.
What's the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer; the other's just a watermelon. 😁😁
Obi-Wan be like:
"To Darth Maul, lightsabers are blue, lightsabers are red. I cut you in half, why the fuck aren’t you dead?"
Why is being an electrician the easiest job in the world? It's literally light work.
I would take out the trash, but my mom said you weren't ready!!! XD
What makes Asians look like they're laughing at everyone? They're squinting before they hear the joke.