The jokes
Why was the orphan's first phone an XR?
Because it had no home button.
What did the Emo kid say to the other Emo kid?
Wait! Don’t leave me hangin’!
Why did the doctor turn the orphan down?
Because he is a family doctor.
You're so poor, you use the same toilet paper every time you take a poop!
What's the difference between an orphan and a baseball player?
A baseball player has a home to run to.
My friend died. Me and my other bestie start singing the coffin song. My bestie in the coffin, why are you not sad? Why are you still alive?
Little Johnny meets Big Suzy.
Little Johnny and Big Suzy got together.
Little Johnny still regrets getting together with her to this very day.
The end.
A man was on the street and went up to a kid wearing rags. The man asked, "Hey, are you an orphan?"
The kid said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"
The man said, "Your parents."
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
The apples get picked.
Why are Americans bad at chess? Because they lost the towers.
Fatty told Skinny, "Do you have any food? My stomach is empty and I haven't eaten."
Skinny replied to Fatty, "Well, doesn't seem like you need food, you ate the whole universe instead!"
What did one orphan say to the other orphan?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin!"
Imagine if Joe Biden was elected for a second term.
He would be the first president to be assassinated by a slick bathtub.
Did you hear Biden went to the ER?
He's having a little trouble with his Putin.
Luigi and Daisy are actually Aussie! How?
They wear GREEN and GOLD! The Aussie Colors!
Your balls are so big, when people see you at the market, they think it's watermelon.
True Story
A CO was receiving inmates as they're being recalled from their assigned jobs to prepare for count. An inmate that had passed the officer returned bleeding through his trousers from his crotch. The inmate had an argument with his lover who had told him that he wasn't enough woman for him. As the inmate was bleeding he was crying out, "He doesn't love me anymore!"
The officer called for medical assistance and went into the assigned cell. He found the severed penis. He fished it out of the toilet and placed it in a plastic bag with ice. He claimed that the medical staff at the hospital could reattach it. He took a ribbing from his fellow officers, because most would've flushed it. I retired and months later saw a fellow officer at the store. As we caught up, I mentioned that the last incident I responded to was 'the severed penis.' The officer tells me that the inmate severed his penis again after it was reattached and flushed it himself.
Why do people want their grass to be emo?
So the grass will cut itself.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One of them gets picked.
What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies.
What's worse than that?
One's alive at the bottom.
What's even worse than THAT?
It eats it's way out.
Wait it gets worse...
It goes back for seconds.
Just one more I swear...
It fucks one of it's siblings at the bottom.