The jokes
Two natives sit in the bar getting shit-faced.
Almost closing time, "Brother, you gonna snag?"
"Yeah, I'm taking her home."
He walks over, she gathers her things. Walking out together, he takes her to his car outback. They stay messing around then start having sex. He starts to get carried away. He looks down at her. She looks up at him and says, "Slow down, cousin, you're going too fast..."
Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road?
To get the milk and to get to the dark side.
I do not have enough information to complete this request. Can you please provide the joke?
Bad jokes are like the planes in 9/11, they don't land.
My wife told me to hang her the salt, so I beat the shit out of her. My name's Kyle, by the way.
If your dad didn't bring the milk, what are you dipping your cookies in?
What do a bungee jump and a hooker have in common?
They’re both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you’re pretty much screwed.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
One gets picked, and the other doesn't.
*WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....
What came first? The chicken or the egg?
Which came first? The color orange or the fruit?
Who taught the first ever teacher?
If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?
If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?
In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?
Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'separate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?
How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?
The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?
Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, it's a cop"?
Is it possible to cry underwater?
If two left handers have an argument, who is right?
I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O
The emo kid tried to give the tree a high five. Unfortunately, the tree left him hanging...
What's the only type of abortion Republicans will never try to legislate against?
A school shooting.
What's the only type of abortion Republicans will never do anything to prevent?
A school shooting.
I was cutting the vegetables and my mom asked how I was so skillful.
Your hairline looks like the McDonald's logo.
How did the emo kid compliment the other emo kid? He said, "I like your cuts G."
I am a God. Na, na, na, na, na, na. Yeah.
She's got makeup by the mirror in her bedroom, Thigh-high fishnets and some black boots, Nose pierced with the cigarette perfume, Half dead, but she still looks so cute. She is a monster in disguise, And she knows all the words to the trap songs, Takes pic's with a cherry-red lipstick, Says she only dates guys with a big..., mmm
What's the most annoying thing in the world?
When you're told you're still qualified to live.
When you're watching a 9/11 documentary, that one kid in your class finds the 97th Jenga block and knocks it down.
Why did the orphan misbehave in school?
Because the principal couldn't call their parents.
You're so fat, when you say the n-word, boogers come out.