The jokes
I believe everything in the Bible until I read about the Jew giving out the free fish.
I guess making 9/11 jokes at the airport is better than shouting "He's got a gun!" at the airport.
What’s the difference between women and cars?
At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.
A genealogist looks at the family tree.
A gynecologist looks up the family bush.
Why did the dick go insane?
Someone kept messing with his head.
Someone asked the former 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton why she lost the 2016 presidential election to Donald John Trump, and the former 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton said, "Because someone asked her what she would do for a Klondike Bar?"
What’s missing from an orphan's iPad?
The home button.
What has eight legs and doesn’t rape children?
The Jackson 4.
I told my mom, "Do you want to see a magic trick?" She said yes. I said, "You are going to have a hot dog and cream pie together." My mom said, "No, I'm not," but I told my mom, "I'm going to need your assistance." First, I need you to lick and suck on my hot dog that is attached to me, which she did. The next minute my mom has a cream pie over her face. Then I told my mom, "You see, you are going to have a hot dog and cream pie together." Then my mom said, "When you are right, you are right."
What does the word circumcise mean?
Cut off a boy's or a man's dick, or cut off a girl's or a woman's foreskin.
You need a good place to think? You can sit on my lap, and we’ll see the first thing that pops up!
My two friends came to me one day and said they had the best blowjob that they ever had from my little sister. So I ask my sister, "Is it true that you gave my friends blowjobs?" She said yes.
My sister asked me, "Do you want one?" I said yeah. My sister gave me a blowjob and wow, just like my friends, it was the best blowjob that I ever had. As an older brother, I couldn't be more prouder.
Stop with the 9/11 jokes.
They're not gonna fly.
Why do orphans like playing tennis so much?
Because it’s the only way they’ll ever get love.
What does a white person say when they're surrounded by black guys? "Hey, who turned the lights out?!"
Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers in the world?
Because they went through 90 stories in just 10 seconds!
What’s the rarest gun to find in Africa?
A water gun...
Stop with the 9/11 jokes, people. They're just not gonna fly.
Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
Because some relationships don’t work out.
Why are the UK and the USA bad at playing chess?
Because they lost 2 towers and their queen.