The jokes
What do you get if you cross diarrhea with incest?
I don't know.
Neither do I, but it runs in the family.
Why did no one turn up to John's funeral?
Because Sally wrote the invitations!
Why'd the emo have no friends?
"Because they like to hang by themself."
Why can't Asians play Baseball?
Because they ate the bat.
I was crying at school because my grandpa died. My friends asked what his last words were. I told them his last words were, "Are you still holding the ladder?"
What sounds did the Ukraine people make in basketball? Ka-boom!
Why are orphans so naughty at school? It's not like the teacher is gonna call their parents.
What do you say when a handicapped man forgets something? "He knew it like the back of his hand."
How do you starve a hippie? You hide its welfare check under the soap.
The phrase “Muslim women live in one of the hottest countries in the world and they can’t even expose their legs” has two meanings.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite childhood song?
The wheels on the chair go round and round.
What is black and at the top of a staircase?
Stephen Hawking after a house fire.
What's black and at the top of the staircase? Stephen Hawking after a house fire.
Why are Mexicans good at Uno?
They always steal the green card.
What is the difference between a priest and McDonald's? Nothing, they both stick their meat in between 12-year-old buns.
Why did the orphan get kicked out of baseball?
They couldn't hit home base.
Yo mama so fat, she went to the moon without leaving Earth.
What’s the difference between a puppy and a fork?
I don’t microwave forks.
Your mum is so fat that when she walked past the television, I missed a whole series of SpongeBob.
This black dude goes up to an Indian guy and says, "What up brotha?"
The Indian guy gets offended and says, "We are not the same."
The black guy then pulls out a gun, and the Indian guy says, "Ok brother, ok brother, we are the same, we are the same."
Do the voice in your head.