The jokes

"My friend and her boyfriend were kissing until she puts her tongue down his throat, and what happens next is really weird."

The tongue gets stuck in his throat and starts to guh-guh-gughhh trying to get her tongue out of his throat, but it cumssssss out with spit all over his tongue, then they break up because he didn't want that to happen ever again...:/

Why can’t an orphan use an iPhone?

Because it can’t find the home button.

Person 1: How many people has Michael Jackson fingered?

Person 2: Dunno, what’s the minor population?

What did the plane say to the towers: "Can't go over it, can't go under it, oh no, we got to go through it."

In the hospital, they need to keep the disabled patients' rooms cooler than the other patients' rooms.

Why?

They need to keep the vegetables cool and crisp.

I told a disabled kid to get in my van. Well, it’s been two years, and he still hasn’t gotten into the van.

Two windmills stand at a farm. One asks the other, "What is your favorite kind of music?"

The other windmill replies, "I'm a huge metal fan!"

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

Did you guys know that Chancellor Palpatine is suing Nike?

Apparently, the company stole his slogan: Just "Do It."

What's the difference between an orange?

A hippopotamus riding a four-door motorcycle.

Quote of the day:

Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.

[Comment your favorite fall beverage!]

Did Mr. Rusher play tennis in the dark?

You will get hit by the tennis ball! Ouch, Mr. Rusher said.