The jokes
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite childhood song?
The wheels on the chair go round and round.
What is black and at the top of a staircase?
Stephen Hawking after a house fire.
What's black and at the top of the staircase? Stephen Hawking after a house fire.
Why are Mexicans good at Uno?
They always steal the green card.
What is the difference between a priest and McDonald's? Nothing, they both stick their meat in between 12-year-old buns.
Why did the orphan get kicked out of baseball?
They couldn't hit home base.
Yo mama so fat, she went to the moon without leaving Earth.
What’s the difference between a puppy and a fork?
I don’t microwave forks.
Your mum is so fat that when she walked past the television, I missed a whole series of SpongeBob.
This black dude goes up to an Indian guy and says, "What up brotha?"
The Indian guy gets offended and says, "We are not the same."
The black guy then pulls out a gun, and the Indian guy says, "Ok brother, ok brother, we are the same, we are the same."
Do the voice in your head.
What does the mom (or terrorists, fuck that) say for the (twin) towers to eat?
Open wide, here comes the plane!
He is so fast that he broke the internet for the whole world when he ran.
What did the gay necrophiliac say when his relationship ended?
"That rotten asshole split on me again!"
"What's the wifi password?"
"121i362"
"It's not working."
"What wifi are you trying to connect to?"
"The United Airline."
"We're in the World Trade Center, though."
What's the difference between what Bill Cosby did and what OJ Simpson did? OJ Simpson's victims actually suffered and I actually feel bad for them (the boyfriend at least).
Why can’t fish play basketball?
'Cause they are scared of the net.
Your hairline is so big, it's bigger than the universe!
Yo hairline is so far back that it was there before the Big Bang happened.
Yo hairline is so long it makes the Titanic look tiny.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Not to get home, that's for sure.