The jokes
If I had a dime for everytime the Australian president shat himself in a McDonald's, I would have one dime, which is not a lot, but it's weird that it happened.
Who is the fastest reader? 9/11, it went through 10 stories in 7 seconds.
The moment when you throw the nut away and try to eat the shell.
Are you a building because I rate you a 9/11?
Why were the Twin Towers mad when they ordered pizza?
One arrived plain, one came in late, one went to the wrong address, and the other one never came.
How much does a chimney cost?
It's free cause it's on the house.
Your forehead is so big that the teachers used it as a whiteboard.
Your forehead is so big that your mom stayed in the delivery room just to give birth to your head.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Hey guys, it's Hailey here.
I'ma start off with henlo ;-;
I know you guys aren't going to believe me because of the assholes who were faking to be me, but if you can try to believe me, I'll explain.
So, Jake, we can't really be together anymore, since we no longer can chat. I'm so sorry.
Basically, my parents caught us on here as you realized. Yayyyy.
I don't have time to say anything else. So I've gotta go, but thankyou guys for everything you did for me.
Also, you won't get any response from me so yea. So sorry guys ;-;
Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a thrill with pills. Jack came down, fuck a clown, and the cum made them frown.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
I turned off all the beeping machines in the hospital. I love the peace and quiet, but I don't know why everyone is sleeping cause it's only 8 am.
I saw a kid crying in the corner. I asked them where their parents are. Man, I love working at an orphanage!
What did the Chinese girl say when she had a white baby?
"Sum Ting Wong."
What did MLK Jr. say when he spent the night on the internet?
"Last night I had a meme."
Your children grew up faster than it took you to leave for the milk.
They told me throwing babies was bad, but guess what I did yesterday? I threw my baby cousin down the escalator.
Your hairline is what caused the Great Depression.
What happens when you hit Dwayne Johnson's butt? You hit rock bottom.
How do Chinese people name their baby? They throw pots down the stairs: bing bong ching chong.