The jokes
I was walking down the street when I saw my ex-girlfriend, so I fucked her. Turns out it was her identical twins that she never told me about.
And I decided to confront her. So I did the next time I saw her, but this time it was her identical triplet. There are 3 of them...
AND SHE NEVER BROUGHT THAT UP IN THE 7 YEARS I WAS DATING HER!
Why do orphans like cows?
Because when they leave, they bring back the milk.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and slapped his thigh and said, "You know you wanna."
Jill said yes, picked up her dress and said, "Let's have some fun!"
Silly ole Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
I'd make a joke about the chin bones, but y'all couldn't mandle it.
What is the difference between an Apple and an orphan?
The apples get picked.
Who says white people can't jump?
Have you seen the 911 footage?
Me, haha, I'm the joke.
The 11th of September is considered 9/11 in America. The Twin Towers fell on 9/11 in 2001, but to call an emergency in America, you dial 911! 😮 You could say they dialed that correctly.
When I die, I'll let everyone I kept dear lower my coffin into the ground.
So they can let me down one last time.
Why was Six afraid of Seven?
Because 7 was accused of the murder of 26 children.
The doctor said I have until 2:30 to live.
That’s like 20 years from now, I said.
He looks at the time. It’s 2:30.
What do the Spanish people call child abuse? Pedrophile.
I tried to adopt an orphan. The card got declined harder than the child did.
There was this Down syndrome boy that always wanted to be a cop, and he did. He pulled someone over and said, "Know why I pulled you over?"
The guy replied, "Because I was speeding?"
He said, "No, because you're black."
Why does Yoda like to get molested? Because he likes the Force.
Why does the Jedi never join the dark side?
If they did, then they would lose the opportunity to molest young padawans.
Why are emos jealous of light?
The lights are hanging.
Yo life so miserable, the adoption center wouldn't sell you, just give you away!
I would have a joke for my friend... but he can't afford the punchline.
The Emo kid was late to his flight, so he needed to cut to the chase.