The jokes

Okay, so one time a deaf kid got into a car accident, but he didn't herd in on the news.

Why was the orphan so successful? Because when they were told “go big or go home,” they only had one option.

Why were the twin towers mad?

Because they ordered a cheese pizza, but instead they got plane.

Orphans and Chinese people can’t play baseball. The orphans can’t find home, and the Chinese kid will eat the bat.

I got fired from the library. What did I do? I only put a book on women's rights in the fiction section.

Who were the fastest readers on the planet? 9/11 victims, they went through 80 stories in 10 seconds.

What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?

One stops sucking when you slap it.

Your mum is so fat, when the doctors did her x-ray, the doctor said to her, "I want your x-ray, not an elephant's x-ray!"

Your mum is so fat, when she was sitting on a scale, the number couldn't even fit on the scale and came shooting out!