The jokes
Why is the record for longest jump kept by an emo?
They're still hanging.
What can an elevator do that an orphan’s parents can’t?
The elevator can raise a family.
No, it's not just a crotch grab. Jacko was jacking it on stage when he saw a 6-year-old boy in the front row.
I was gobsmacked when I encountered the Jacko special at a Bunnings sausage sizzle. A 40-year-old sausage on 7-year-old white bread.
What did the titanic say as it was sinking?
I nominate all the passengers to the ice bucket challenge.
I'll never forget my grandpa's last words.
"Are you still holding the ladder?"
When Hitler killed himself, he shot himself twice. The first one was Operation Barbarossa, and the second one was his death.
What do the initials POOP stand for?
Polacks Order Our Poop. 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩
My cousin: “How’s the lemonade stand supposed to run when you’re at softball practice?!”
Me: “Lemonade stands can’t run, dufus.”
What’s the best part of raping an 11 year old girl?
Getting to kill the little bitch after you’ve finished with her.
I could have sworn while watching anime I saw an American Boeing B-29 Superfortress in the background dropping bombs!
According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form consists of only four lines:
1. What was your income for the year?
2. What were your expenses?
3. How much have you left?
4. Send it in.
Roses are red, violets are blue, You make me pee like I drink tea, you make me go buzz, like becoming a fuzz.
It sticks in, but it goes to the bin, after its use, it will be reused, no it is not what your thinking its -~-(clay)-~-
I'm in the year 1930...
The Great Depression.
Russians think they are tougher than Americans. Here are some reasons for the Russians out here reading this:
1. USA was NEVER invaded!
2. USA never commits as many war crimes as Russia does!
3. USA made the first nuclear weapon so yeah shove that up your ass, Russians!
4. Our soldiers don’t rape kids.
5. We have more allies than you.
6. We are smaller but stronger.
7. Random civilians in the USA have stronger guns than Russian military does!
Why do you have to pay to see Russian people?
Because the zoo is not free, Duhhhhh🙄
Why did the Japanese NOT shoot down the American plane that was dropping atomic bombs?
From what their eyes saw, it was a piece of rice.
What did the Americans call the Battle of Midway after Pearl Harbor?
The Jap trap.
You know you have twisted humor when you crack a smile when a Minecraft farmer says he separates the white sheep from the colored ones.
Four kids at my school tried suicide and failed. They are now known as the Suicide Squad.