The jokes
Red, black, blue. The colors of life.
Yo mama so stupid, she brought a giant spoon to the Super Bowl.
You know what orphans and I have in common? Our dads both left for the milk.
Yo mama so fat that when she fell on the concrete, nobody laughed, but the concrete cracked up.
My girlfriend is so stupid, she asked me if I wanted to shower with her to save money on our water bill, while we were staying at a hotel where we didn't even have to pay the water bill.
A lot of people claim that white privilege does not exist. Well, how the hell do you explain Michael Jackson not being charged for raping children, despite ample evidence?
What's the difference between a Catholic hospital and Michael Jackson's Children's Hospital?
No seriously, what is it?
Long live the quee—Oh wait...
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
Why do orphans like boomerangs? Cause they come back.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Girls are like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
If you hit an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
If you hit an orphan with a car, at least you don't have to tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.
Why was the orphan a big success? Cause people say go big or go home, he only had one option.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What do orphans and blind kids have in common? They can’t see their parents.
Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt? Because they don’t know what a mummy is.
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Once I went to watch a match in Portugal. It was between Penaldo and his kids. The referee was Georgiana (his wife). Mpaypal and Igayspeed were also there. The match began, and his kids scored two goals in the first 10 minutes. Then, when the match was about to end, Penaldo got angry and asked his wife for penalties. His wife declined, and he tortured and beat her up and took 10 penalties (missed 7 of them) but won 3-2. Shame on you, Penaldo! 😡😡😡
A computer is like a living organism. Its charger is its life support. If you "pull the plug," you are letting it slowly die.
I got sent to the principal's office for telling the kid in the wheelchair to stand up for himself.
What did I say to the bridge?
Bye, bridge.
My arm has a different texture than the rest of me, lol.
My friend said an apple a day keeps the orphan away. I said only if you throw it hard enough.
Just saw the news that Kobe passed. I guess there's a first for everything.
I told a crippled guy he is immortal because he can't kick the bucket.
Holy shit there's so many yo mama jokes. Here's mine: Yo mama so skinny she used a cheerio as a hula hoop.
Yo mama so fat that she made a plane unstable and crashed it into the Twin Towers.
Yo mama so old that she has Jesus's autograph.
Yo mama so ugly that not even makeup can save her.
Yo mama so dumb that she thought Rocket League was a competition between kids in wheelchairs.
Your forehead is deeper than the ocean.
You're so fat that when they tried to print a picture of you through the computer, they couldn't fit you in the whole picture because you were so big!