The jokes
My dad died in 9/11, he was a great pilot.
Wow! The jokes on here are so dark they pick my cotton!
Today was the worst day of my life. My ex got hit by a school bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
Yo mama so hairy that the zookeepers called a code red thinking an ape got loose.
Yo mama is so ugly, they tried to get her to act the part for Godzilla!
Yo mama so dumb, she failed the survey.
Why did 10 have PTSD?
Because he was in the middle of 9/11.
Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.
A police officer came up to me and said, "Just why, why would you bring the epileptic children to a laser tag fight?"
When the feminists find out that it's humanity, not huwomanity.
What do you call a fat Indian sat on the floor?
A meatball/malteser.
My boss doctor said that we are getting a surgeon coming in tomorrow. I'm super excited to work with him. The next day, we had to do our first-ever open heart surgery, so me and the surgeon spent many hours on this patient. We finished the surgery and went outside for a smoke, and we were talking. I said, "Why did you keep the patient's blood on your glove?"
He replied, "We in my free time I test it for anything diseases, HIV." The next day, I got invited to his house, and we had some drinks. I said, "This is amazing red tea. What is in it?" Just the 2000 people you have cut open.
See, this is the best thing about no such thing as vampires because I'd be the first person to say drinks are on me.
What is the Twin Towers' least favorite song? "I'm Still Standing."
Where's the best place to hide a body? In the second page of Google search results.
Why is the bible like a penis You get it forced down your throat by a priest
Three boys are in the 4th grade; one is black, one is white, and the other is Hispanic. Who has the biggest penis?
The black one... he's 13!
Yo mama is so fat, they had to flood the Super Bowl to give her a bath.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get on the person's face.
Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.
But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.